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I don't know what I'm doing anymore

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brokenwing79

New member
Joined
Apr 5, 2015
Messages
1
Hello. I feel like I should give some background. Over the last 5 years my dad died, my sister in law, my nephew's father, my 6 month old cousin and my best friend. I had a miscarriage, my husband left me and my older daughter decided to live with her dad. Last year I took my sister and her son in. She never paid anything. I lost my job last July and I couldn't pay the bills. I'm a contractor and sometimes work isnt available. Even after she got a job she did nothing to help. Well one day our gas and electric was cut off. I went to Social Services and they said they would help. I got sick that same day and was hospitalized. When I came home I found the lights were back on. A few months layer they were turned off again. The company states that I stole power. Come to find out my sister illegally connected the power. When I confronted her she said she would do nothing to help because I'll probably be evicted any way. I packed up my kids and went to my mom's. This brings me to present.

Of course I don't want to be here but I do my best to not be the kind of burden to her as my sister was to me. I understand the imposition but she makes me feel horrible. Nothing I try to do is good enough. I am critiqued from sun up to sun down. Told my case is hopeless. She tells me she's not going to be miserable like I was when I was caring for my sister. She literally reduces me to tears. In the time that I've been here I've found a job that I start Monday. This didn't do much to please her. She makes it a point to tell me how she doesn't want us here. She says it so I don't forget it. I'm trying to get into a shelter. But I don't want to lose my kids. She didn't seem to care if I lose them or not. She's cold and can be quite mean. I cook and clean everyday. Run her errands and do whatever she asks without hesitation or complaint. I suffer though awful humiliation so I can be with my kids.

Monday is the anniversary of my dad's death and today informed me and the kids that she already called their dad and he's coming to get them tomorrow and that I have to find somewhere to go because she wants to be alone. I respect her right to mourn as she will but now she is forcing me to morn alone. I love my mom. I miss my dad. I'm so overwhelmed with sadness and grief that I don't sleep and can't think. I just don't know what to do. She makes me feel like the biggest looser on earth and I'm beginning to believe her. She's not the only one in morning. I live in a state of constant morning. I feel like I'm on the brink of a nervous breakdown.
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
Hi and Welcome to the forum.

Sorry for everything that has gone on and how you are being treated by your family :hug1:

Your Mom had no right to call your kids father, that is something you should of done if you wanted to.

I do really hope you can find somewhere else to live soon and get yourself out of that toxic situation.

Marliee x
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Hello and welcome to the forum!

God, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your family should be there to support you when you need it, and I'm so sorry your mum and your daughter have treated you like this. They seem to lack compassion. It's great that you still love them... but you don't deserve to be treated like that.

This won't be forever. It's amazing you've managed to find a job considering all the stress you've been under recently; you should be really proud of that. That's your key to getting out of there with your kids.

Maybe you could talk to the bank and take out a loan on the basis you have a job now, then you can put down a deposit on a place.

I'm assuming you live in the US because you've said "mom"? Here, there's a charity called Citizen's Advice which people can go to if they're in a difficult situation and need advice as to what agencies can support them. Is there anything like that in the US? If so, they'd be really worth contacting.

Wish you all the best; hope you can get out of there soon! You don't deserve this.

:hug1:
 
L

Lillith

New member
Joined
Apr 5, 2015
Messages
4
Hi, I'm sorry to hear about all you've been through. Just want to say right away that it takes a very strong person to keeping pushing through all of that, and you should tell yourself that. You definitely need someone to lean on, and it's not right for your family to not be there for you, as you've been for them. I'm not sure where you live, but there are mental health hotlines that can give you information or help you set up services and support. Mobile crisis is one. It might be really beneficial for you to look into group therapy. Many medical hospitals have free therapy groups for people who are grieving, and mental health hospitals tend to have DBT or CBT groups which have personally been helpful to me.

Hope you find the community you deserve.
 
H

Haley

Active member
Joined
Mar 28, 2015
Messages
40
Location
Fort Lauderdale
I'm so sorry to hear your mother is treating you negatively when you both could be supporting one another. Hang onto your children. You have had one bad thing after another happening, but loosing your children would be the worst yet. That's what keeps you going, having the children. I lost my children at ages 13, 14 and 15 and it was like someone swiped my whole life.
 
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