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I don't know how to stand up for myself.

Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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I always let other people treat me terribly and then I feel guilty. I don't know how to argue with people because I get so upset. It's worse when I begin to cry because of how stressed out I get.
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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How do the folk on Animal Crossing stand up for themselves?
:hug: They don't have drama in Animal Crossing and I wish the world was like Animal Crossing. This made me smile, thank you!
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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I always let other people treat me terribly and then I feel guilty. I don't know how to argue with people because I get so upset. It's worse when I begin to cry because of how stressed out I get.
if you feel inferior or feel like a bad person that can weaken your ability to assert yourself. and then that can increase those beliefs even more. because if you loose arguments it makes you like you are wrong therefore inferior and bad. so this creates a feedback loop. then you live in constant stress and fear of loosing more arguments in the future. and this fear inhibits your intelligence which then increases the feedback loop even more again. you might be stuck in this feedback loop for years suffering and trying to get out. two solutions can be work on healing any past trauma that may have contributed to lowering your self-esteem and or making you feel like a bad person. second would be dont compete with others. always make friends with everyone. see the good in them and see the truth in whatever they have to say. just because you agree with them in person doesn't mean you cant have your own ideas. try googling something called: codependency.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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I did an assertive course once. One should remain calm and get one's point across firmly.
 
soul searching

soul searching

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Hi Fairy Fountain! What kind of situation are you referring to, bullying or just in general. If it's bullying, I wouldn't talk to them or listen to them. They have their agenda which is to make themselves feel better by putting you down. Your agenda would be to stay away from such toxic people. If you're like me, challenging a bully might be too hard on you.
If you mean, standing up for yourself in general, you might need to give yourself a pep talk. Affirm all the true and good stuff about yourself. I'm a good person. I deserve to be heard. I am strong. Be prepared. Plan to say what you think you need to ahead of time. You don't need to correct them, just make a positive statement about yourself. For example, if someone says You didn't do that right" Instead of beating yourself up(I'm a failure, or whatever) and letting their words go without a response, say something positive or even lighthearted like" I know, I'll get it right next time". Speaking of lighthearted, don't take everything so seriously. I know from experience, that I take the littlest thing too hardly when it's really not a big deal. Hope this helps.❤
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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I always let other people treat me terribly and then I feel guilty. I don't know how to argue with people because I get so upset. It's worse when I begin to cry because of how stressed out I get.
May I ask what it is other people are doing to you, and perhaps what you could do differently next time something like that happens :hug:
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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if you feel inferior or feel like a bad person that can weaken your ability to assert yourself. and then that can increase those beliefs even more. because if you loose arguments it makes you like you are wrong therefore inferior and bad. so this creates a feedback loop. then you live in constant stress and fear of loosing more arguments in the future. and this fear inhibits your intelligence which then increases the feedback loop even more again. you might be stuck in this feedback loop for years suffering and trying to get out. two solutions can be work on healing any past trauma that may have contributed to lowering your self-esteem and or making you feel like a bad person. second would be dont compete with others. always make friends with everyone. see the good in them and see the truth in whatever they have to say. just because you agree with them in person doesn't mean you cant have your own ideas. try googling something called: codependency.
Thank you I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to stand up for myself but I will try.
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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Messages
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Hi Fairy Fountain! What kind of situation are you referring to, bullying or just in general. If it's bullying, I wouldn't talk to them or listen to them. They have their agenda which is to make themselves feel better by putting you down. Your agenda would be to stay away from such toxic people. If you're like me, challenging a bully might be too hard on you.
If you mean, standing up for yourself in general, you might need to give yourself a pep talk. Affirm all the true and good stuff about yourself. I'm a good person. I deserve to be heard. I am strong. Be prepared. Plan to say what you think you need to ahead of time. You don't need to correct them, just make a positive statement about yourself. For example, if someone says You didn't do that right" Instead of beating yourself up(I'm a failure, or whatever) and letting their words go without a response, say something positive or even lighthearted like" I know, I'll get it right next time". Speaking of lighthearted, don't take everything so seriously. I know from experience, that I take the littlest thing too hardly when it's really not a big deal. Hope this helps.❤
Thank you! I will try this. The situation I had was that I apologize to someone who was rude to me. I always feel guilty. I'm trying to move on from this, but I still feel bad that I always let others treat me with disrespect.
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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May I ask what it is other people are doing to you, and perhaps what you could do differently next time something like that happens :hug:
:hug:
When I was a child in school I was bullied by classmates and yelled at by teachers. I always feel guilty for everything and apologize too much. Few days ago I apologized to someone who treated me terribly because I felt guilty for avoiding him. He was an awful friend and I don't know why I felt like I had to say sorry, but I did.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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I wonder if this feeling of guilt is a obstacle that needs to be overcome... Have you thought about mentioning all of this to a Doctor etc? Bullying is like a disease that in my opinion needs stamping on, and you are still suffering because of it... Again speaking about all of this to a Doctor etc. will probably be the best way forward. Hope this helps :hug:
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

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I wonder if this feeling of guilt is a obstacle that needs to be overcome... Have you thought about mentioning all of this to a Doctor etc? Bullying is like a disease that in my opinion needs stamping on, and you are still suffering because of it... Again speaking about all of this to a Doctor etc. will probably be the best way forward. Hope this helps :hug:
Thank you! I'll talk about this with my therapist, too. Sometimes I feel okay and then I feel terrible again. But hopefully I'll find a way to get better.
 
soul searching

soul searching

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Poor Fairy Fountain! Nobody deserves to be bullied. Yes, I think OCDguy gave you some good advice.:grouphug:Lots of hugs!
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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Thank you I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to stand up for myself but I will try.
dont try and stand up for yourself. will-power is limited. just work on increasing your knowledge in the areas of self-awareness, wisdom, self-help, self-esteem, spirituality, and psychology. all that knew information will upgrade your core beliefs and help you overcome illusions which are blocking out your natural abilities.
 
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