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I don't know how to put my feelings into words.

P

PurpleDinosaur

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Messages
1
Location
UK
Hi,

I have been suffering from anxiety/depression since what feels like the beginning of times. I have finally shared this with my GP last year in April and I have been on a waiting list for free talking therapy ever since. The only reason I have not chased it is that I can't make myself to talk to anyone again. I have stopped drinking since my last bender has ended up with emergency services at my doors because I was suicidal. And I have realized I can't vent my feelings when sober which has somehow led to terrible social anxiety. I can't answer a phone or door and I avoid dealing with strangers at all costs. I have a very understanding and supporting partner who helps wherever he can. It's probably not healthy for me but I take advantage of the fact that he's a social butterfly which means my contact with people is minimal. Yet I can't talk to him about how I feel. When the dark times hit me, I close down, stop talking and either want to run away or sleep.

And I have recently found myself alone. My partner has left abroad for work for 6 months. So I have to start driving again (yet another anxiety trigger I didn't know I had since I used to enjoy driving), deal with strangers and to top it all off, I found I am pregnant. My brain has been 'stuck' for days not knowing what to freak out about first. I just don't know what to do.
 
A

aisha23

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
1,398
Location
UK
welcome to the forum.

completely unrelated: but are you a fan of barney?

(just your username)

hopefully being here helps
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
3,408
Location
London, ON
I understand how hard it is to speak, especially about mental health, and anxiety. There's a lot of topics that tend to lock me up totally, too.

But - sometimes, simply managing to say it out loud to somebody helps rob it of it's weight on mind.

I found for some things, writing down what I would like to say, and rewriting it until it makes sense to me, really helps.
 
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