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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

i dont know how to interact with people

Q

qrstuv

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ive never talked to anyone so i dont know if my problem is even anxiety but i feel like i dont have the social skills to form relationships at all. i feel like i missed some stage in life because i just dont know how much you need to interact with people. i feel like i never respond right to things people say, i cant really keep up conversation with anyone other than people ive known closely for years. i have no friends because i just dont know how to form a new friendship
 
FlowerBox

FlowerBox

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I also feel like I missed something like I missed my chance to build up these skills when it was easier for the brain to absorb
But unfortunately it just takes practice I think...I also feel like I respond the wrong way, maybe it's not anxiety maybe it is just a bit of awkwardness...

A good way to start is to talk about hobbies or music you like, I have become better at talking to people (online, at least...) from joining a website for people who like the same music as me. I also find it helps me to change my mindset to tell myself I am already welcome in the conversation. For me I had a big problem with feeling like I was not welcome, I had nothing to add, no one wanted me to be there, but honestly I tried going in with the mindset that I was already a part of the conversation, that I am welcomed, and I stress a lot less about things I say now
 
EverybodyHurts

EverybodyHurts

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Well you have already taken a positive step by coming on here. You are interacting just fine as far as I can see, and developing those skills here, might make it feel easier face to face? If you do want to make new friendships you will have to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little, but it will be worth it in the long run 🙂
 
FlowerBox

FlowerBox

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Yes and interacting on here can help with putting deeper thoughts into words and talking about mental illness so maybe eventually you can voice your concerns with those people you have known for a while, and ask them if they think you are awkward or how they think you hold up in conversation (if you haven't brought it up to them already?)
 
Q

qrstuv

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Yes and interacting on here can help with putting deeper thoughts into words and talking about mental illness so maybe eventually you can voice your concerns with those people you have known for a while, and ask them if they think you are awkward or how they think you hold up in conversation (if you haven't brought it up to them already?)
talking about this stuff is kind of frowned upon where im from? like it's not really something you bring up unless you seriously need medication or need to get put in a hospital or something. i think people just assume when i react weirdly in conversation im just trying to be funny, but i might bring it up?
 
FlowerBox

FlowerBox

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talking about this stuff is kind of frowned upon where im from? like it's not really something you bring up unless you seriously need medication or need to get put in a hospital or something. i think people just assume when i react weirdly in conversation im just trying to be funny, but i might bring it up?
Yeah unfortunately it is still frowned upon in most places...I don't talk about my mental stuff much with people aside from a few close friends but even then it's not very much. But I think it helps to give the other person an idea of why you may be a bit different and maybe they want to understand you more, people may just assume that you are more reserved and introverted by choice
 
K

karl7

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ive never talked to anyone so i dont know if my problem is even anxiety but i feel like i dont have the social skills to form relationships at all. i feel like i missed some stage in life because i just dont know how much you need to interact with people. i feel like i never respond right to things people say, i cant really keep up conversation with anyone other than people ive known closely for years. i have no friends because i just dont know how to form a new friendship
i relate. I have no friends either......and my social anxiety causes me alot of crap......but i have some advice that may help u if you want social contact.....im am member of a menatl health club......these are places where mentally ill folk can go to participate in art creative writing, yoga or group therpay to name but a few activities or else you can just drop in for a cooffee......having social anxiety will qualify you a s a member and if thats not good enough just say you have depression......just ask your mental health team about this or elase just google.....sometimes menatl health clubs are known as clubhouses
 
mineralgloss

mineralgloss

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a lot of people can relate to feeling like this. the other person you're talking to could even be feeling the same, also feeling stressed about how to keep up the conversation! remember it takes two people to keep up a conversation, so you shouldn't put 100% of the pressure just on yourself.

it can be helpful to point out the "objective" things. for example if you're outside talking to someone, you can comment on the weather, how annoying it is that the nearest library is so far away, or if they know where you can find a good, quiet cafe.

from there, you could mention you like quiet cafes because you go there to read books. if it doesn't work out, congratulate yourself for doing your best and try again another time. you will get better and better with practice. you can come on here to let us know how it goes :)
 
Hillman hunter

Hillman hunter

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I get these problems too. im useless at eye contact,
I never seem to feel as if im equal to anyone, always think they are better then me, had years of this, made a mess of my life, im 46 and seem to be stuck going nowhere fast
 
mineralgloss

mineralgloss

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Hillman, someone once gave me this piece of advice: everyone is made of the same parts. We're all human, we have a heart, and bones, and blood pumping through our bodies. We've all cried at some point in our lives, scraped our knees, been yelled at, been mistreated. What could other people possibly have that makes them different or better than you?

(Yes I know that anxious thoughts can pop up and say, they have more achievements! More friends! Their life is organised and they have it all figured out! And I'm a big mess!)

But it can be helpful to think about all the things that we share as people. We all have a lot more in common than we realise. Only because we have been through different experiences (better or worse) doesn't mean we are better or worse.
 
Hillman hunter

Hillman hunter

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hello mineralgloss , thanks, very true words, i doubt myself to often,
and thank you for taking time to write to me, I appreciate it:)
 
Argon

Argon

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I was like the OP. then I lost my desire to have any relations with people. If you don't use it you lose it I guess.
 
U

Uno

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I get this too, i just clam up :/
 
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