I don't know how to deal with this.

L

lunarblue

New member
Joined
Feb 13, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Ann Arbor
#1
Recently I have felt extremely detached from everything in my life. I have no reason to be unhappy. I have my mom and my five siblings and we're okay. I have a couple of good friends, IDK.
When I was a kid my dad used to abuse me physically and emotionally, he self harmed in front of me and eventually committed suicide right after I turned 14. I was diagnosed with PTSD a year ago or so. Lately I've just felt like I'm floating all the time and everything around me isn't really happening. My doctor said it's probably dissociation but I don't understand what that is or why it's happening. I get lost in space and don't know how to act around my friends and it's becoming really hard to act normal. I started self harming just to feel something real, so I could actually feel like I was real. I feel like all of the people around me are drifting away or maybe I'm drifting away and I don't know what to do.
 
Z

ziedite

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Messages
273
Location
UK
#2
Hi blue... it sounds like you've really had some challenging stuff to go through at a very young age. You haven't said how old you are now, but have you spoken to your mom about your self harming? Have you told your doctor? Its a complex action, self harming that is, so its no wonder why you might be feeling confused or drifting away. Getting some good therapy to get a correct diagnosis and then treatment would probably help you. Don't be embarrassed to seek help, we all need it from time to time. Take care and let us know what you need from the forum.
 
M

Mary26

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
155
Location
USA
#3
I suspect that the reason you're checking out is because there's so much pain and so much rage inside you for what he did and for what your mom didn't do (protect you) that if you allowed yourself to feel it, it would be too overwhelming. The problem is that if you don't feel it, it may get buried deeper. A really good psychologist will create a safe space for you to feel your feelings and gently guide you towards unraveling what happened to you. You have a lot of healing to do. xx
 
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