- Apr 16, 2020
I'm struggling extreme amounts day-to-day with what I believe is anxiety. I'm not even sure if it is anxiety as I've never been formally diagnosed. I've been deeply insecure for the past few years and lack confidence in myself. From an early age, the friends I thought were extremely close turned out to be manipulative and cruel. Since then I've been constantly doubting every relationship I've had, whether it's been friends or partners. I also overthink everything to the point where any topic I think of begins to spiral out of control and makes me unhappy. Last year was significantly better for me until I left for university where I'm constantly worrying about my boyfriend and uni course. Normally I have my boyfriend to help calm me down but since being separated due to corona, it's getting harder and harder with each passing day. Some days are better than others but it doesn't take much before I get in my own head and before I know what's going on I'm in floods of tears. I keep on going to my boyfriend for help but now I'm overthinking about whether I'm too much and if I'll just end up ruining the relationship we have. My paranoia and insecurity makes me doubt everything and I can't shake off this feeling of tightness in my chest. I don't know how to advance or to help myself, some doctor isn't just going to cure me and I'll probably be a waste of their time. I don't know how to deal with my combination of insecurity, overthinking, paranoid, and anxious brain. Any advice or help?