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I don't feel worthy of being happy due to being ugly

NoNameRequired

NoNameRequired

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Jul 18, 2021
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Mordor
Yes, I know all my threads are the same.

So that's it, I don't feel worthy of doing anything that can be considered enjoyable, I feel like the only thing I should be allowed to do is work (And I am failing at that too because I'm unemployed but that's another thing) to justify my existance.

I think the world is to be enjoyed only by the pretty people and the rest of us should wear masks and work underground or something of the sort. Even activities I like that do not have anything to do with looks make me feel inferior, like drawing, most artist I know of are youthful and pretty, and I feel like I shouldn't even try it because I feel out of place looking like this.

There are times I just want to go to sleep and die already so I never wake up, and I know it's stupid reasoning but I cannot help it.

So does anyone knows a place where I can buy a gas mask? Like those that cover your whole hideous face, I need one.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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You inside are more important than a job or your outside
 
H

hurghydurdy

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Oct 25, 2021
Messages
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uk
It is so sad that we live in a world where so many of us feel so terrible about our appearance. I'm sorry that this is hurting you so badly @NoNameRequired

When I was younger I felt kind of similar - like a total freak, worthless and unlovable because of my appearance. I am not at ease with my appearance even now but mostly I try not to think of it and I can do that a fair amount now. It doesn't affect my life in the same way it did before.

The thing about looks is that it is true that having a conventionally attractive appearance does seem to grease the wheels of life in many ways, certain parts of life ARE easier. But that doesn't mean that the lives of the good-looking are easy or worth more than anyone else's. They just got lucky in that one aspect. Its not fair, but nothing is, we get dealt the hand we're dealt and it's up to us to play it as best we can.

Everyones looks fade over time. And no-one is ever loved for being pretty. They might be desired and idealised, find it easier to attract people at first but they won't be loved for their looks - actual love is always about personality, about kindness, about connection, about soul. And I think fundamentally thats the main thing we all want - to feel a sense of being loved and belonging. Those of us that feel like freaks have to work harder to feel like we belong somewhere but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

The mind can be a total bastard - i think its very common for humans to focus on one thing about themselves and think if only i could change that one thing then everything would be better. It can become obsessional. But it's not true. Often we feel happier when we focus our attention outside ourselves rather than inward/on ourselves. And if you feel happier it's easier to make connections with others and find a sense of belonging. I tell myself that I am worth no more and no less than anyone else. I deserve to live my life the same as everyone else does and the same is true for you.

You might be beautiful, you might not be, either way that isn't going to be the most interesting thing about you.
 
calypso

calypso

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If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.

Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Phone a helpline

These free helplines are there to help when you're feeling down or desperate.

You can also call these helplines for advice if you’re worried about someone else.

In the UK and Ireland, call the Samaritans on 116123.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ion 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, call Lifeline on 131114.
In New Zealand, call Need to Talk on 1737 or 080017371737.
For other countries please visit this list of crisis helplines.

Useful information

The Forum's page on getting help may also be useful to you. Here is a link to it Mental Health Forum - Getting Help

Here is a link to an article on Suicidal Crisis written by one of the Admin team which you may find helpful Suicidal Crisis

Emergency help

If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111 or call the international emergency number of 112).

Please do seek help as soon as possible.
 
NoNameRequired

NoNameRequired

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
1,939
Location
Mordor
It is so sad that we live in a world where so many of us feel so terrible about our appearance. I'm sorry that this is hurting you so badly @NoNameRequired

When I was younger I felt kind of similar - like a total freak, worthless and unlovable because of my appearance. I am not at ease with my appearance even now but mostly I try not to think of it and I can do that a fair amount now. It doesn't affect my life in the same way it did before.

The thing about looks is that it is true that having a conventionally attractive appearance does seem to grease the wheels of life in many ways, certain parts of life ARE easier. But that doesn't mean that the lives of the good-looking are easy or worth more than anyone else's. They just got lucky in that one aspect. Its not fair, but nothing is, we get dealt the hand we're dealt and it's up to us to play it as best we can.

Everyones looks fade over time. And no-one is ever loved for being pretty. They might be desired and idealised, find it easier to attract people at first but they won't be loved for their looks - actual love is always about personality, about kindness, about connection, about soul. And I think fundamentally thats the main thing we all want - to feel a sense of being loved and belonging. Those of us that feel like freaks have to work harder to feel like we belong somewhere but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

The mind can be a total bastard - i think its very common for humans to focus on one thing about themselves and think if only i could change that one thing then everything would be better. It can become obsessional. But it's not true. Often we feel happier when we focus our attention outside ourselves rather than inward/on ourselves. And if you feel happier it's easier to make connections with others and find a sense of belonging. I tell myself that I am worth no more and no less than anyone else. I deserve to live my life the same as everyone else does and the same is true for you.
I agree with you that is not fair and it doesn't really has to be, but I disagree that looks alone cannot get you love, it is the main thing people with good looks get, even half of it is superficial obssession, it can develop into love. Have you seen that supposedly realistic version of Jesus? Everyone hates it because it isn't good looking enough, and many people LOVE Jesus, and I honestly think that if he wasn't shown mainly as a good looking man, the number of followers would be much less. So yes, looks can give you love.
You might be beautiful
No.
you might not be
Yes.
either way that isn't going to be the most interesting thing about you.
The best thing is my sense of humour, turning into a walking joke is the only socially acceptable feature you can show as an ugly person. Or be rich.
If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.

Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Phone a helpline

These free helplines are there to help when you're feeling down or desperate.

You can also call these helplines for advice if you’re worried about someone else.

In the UK and Ireland, call the Samaritans on 116123.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ion 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, call Lifeline on 131114.
In New Zealand, call Need to Talk on 1737 or 080017371737.
For other countries please visit this list of crisis helplines.

Useful information

The Forum's page on getting help may also be useful to you. Here is a link to it Mental Health Forum - Getting Help

Here is a link to an article on Suicidal Crisis written by one of the Admin team which you may find helpful Suicidal Crisis

Emergency help

If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111 or call the international emergency number of 112).

Please do seek help as soon as possible.
Ah, I was waiting for you. Want to know something funny? There is no suicide prevention hotline in my country so there is no real point in telling me this. Maybe everyone here is happy but me or something.

I am not suicidal, I am too afraid of death and I hate myself too much to end the misery. I appreciate the concern though.
 
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