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I dont feel at home anywhere

  • Thread starter Sarabi_Gyarados
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Sarabi_Gyarados

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Aug 20, 2019
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241
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UK
I don't feel comfortable safe or at home in my own skin

I am.indecisive and living a double life. I don't know how to decide. It's like nothing can make me happy. I'm permanently discontent.

I would never act on it but suicide often feels like a good idea. Even when people love me, I don't feel I belong somehow.

I feel.i was made wrong or somewhere along the line something went wrong.

I feel low depressed anxious and so unsettled in myself. Noone else can settle me either.

I just pretend. I smile I laugh but inside....numb blah blank

Am.i alone?
 
losingme1989

losingme1989

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Sep 13, 2019
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You are not alone, I often experience such feelings myself, understand how crushing it can feel, also I don't feel at home in my own skin either, i think that chronic physical illness is playing a big part in that though.

Dont know if sharing any of this will help you directly, just thought I would share my experience. Big hugs :hug5:
 
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Tryin2gethelp

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2018
Messages
15
You are not alone, I can identify with everything you have said

I understand those feelings as a default, for me, it is not wanting to place blame, not because I felt blame was wrong, but more like it would make me a worse person. to be clear, in my life, i did have someone to blame, but after i accepted what had happened, and the fact that it was beyond my ability to control, and that I was doing the best that i could, and realistaly expect of myself. I have started to, in my own way get a little better.

If you can take anything away from that ramble, the thing that helped me was, my pdoc saying "your doing the best you can, be expected, and thats OK," Dont judge yourself to harshly, the fact you asked means your doing better than before. just my opinion, but i hope it helps
 
SwanLake

SwanLake

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Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
1,169
I don't feel comfortable safe or at home in my own skin

I am.indecisive and living a double life. I don't know how to decide. It's like nothing can make me happy. I'm permanently discontent.

I would never act on it but suicide often feels like a good idea. Even when people love me, I don't feel I belong somehow.

I feel.i was made wrong or somewhere along the line something went wrong.

I feel low depressed anxious and so unsettled in myself. Noone else can settle me either.

I just pretend. I smile I laugh but inside....numb blah blank

Am.i alone?
I’m sorry that you are struggling at the moment. You are not alone as we all have these thoughts. Just try to be aware they are actually that, thoughts. It doesn’t mean they are true, it’s just your emotions and feelings are on the extreme end of the scale at the moment. Try to calm yourself down and relax. Let these negative thoughts subside and in time you’ll feel a little better.
 
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Tryin2gethelp

Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2018
Messages
15
"Thoughts are not facts", that has helped me more than most quotes.
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
241
Location
UK
I don't know if its bpd or my relationships but I just don't feel seen.

I feel ignored, neglected and abandoned almost all the time.

Other people make me feel knots in my stomach especially my father who is very emotionally volatile.

I just feel trapped, lost, alone, stuck behind glass.

I feel like noone can love me the way I want them to.
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
241
Location
UK
I wake up and dad has telly on bf is playing a video game and my lover has forgotten to text me. I just feel invisible and unloved floating in a world.where noone loves or feels as deeply as I do
 
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Zaz

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Sep 1, 2020
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Location
UK
I've never been comfortable with the thoughts are not facts statement... it's as though they don't matter. They may not be real events as such but the consequences of them and the emotions and feelings they rouse are very real. I'd like to see that statement in terms of therapy changed to thoughts are not facts but the affects of them are real. Just a thought 🙂
 
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