• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

I don't even know what I have... this category seemed more fitting

E

Elizabeth S

New member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
2
Hi Guys and gals,
I'm very new to this and I have tried to search for help online but unless I pay $78 I can't get anywhere. Basically, I think I have anxiety problems, like when I am sat in front of my new boss and work colleagues, I want to run away, I feel as though im going to faint and if I move, I will faint. My heart is going to pop out of my neck and my brain is throbbing. Its not just infront of my boss its anywhere, not all the time just when it wants too, It's been happening even before I got this new job. But unfortunately that isn't all... I have to say a bit about me so I dont sound crazy (I probably am but I need to tell you so you can get the idea) I have had issues all my life and I used drugs and alcohol to solve my issues, as well as prescription drugs. I had to go to rehab a few years ago to get off the stuff and now I am abstinent and have been for just over three years. The trouble is, I am faced with things that I used drugs on and although I have had loads of therapy, things keep creeping back in. I have lost my support networkdue to my employment ending, so I cant call up my ffriend's as they are all defending themaelves from the job they are in (long story) but yes, I have moved in with my partner and things are changing around me that I can't handle. I am paranoid that my partner is cheating in me, (I am deluded) but I have issues trusting people and have done for years. And although I thought I worked on this, and realised not everyone will treat me as bad as what I have been, I just cant seem to shake it. Its like I actually believe my deluded self but the logical side is like "he loves you". So yeah, I am dealing with all this crap, a new job that makes me want to pass out, a new house where I feel isolated and a massive burden of wanting to pass out all the time when im in any sort of situation. I shake horrendously when I get nervous, and I use to shake when I didnt have a drink (before rehab) which brings up memories and also makes me paranoid that people think im drinking. I can't go to the doctors because he will prescribe me something ans I don't trust myself not to abuse the medication, im generally depressed about tgings and unless I pay a stupid amount of money, which I dont have, im all out of options im afraid. I've ruined my relationship with my accusations and we're not talking, sleeping in separate rooms, and the poor man has done nothing but support me, yet I'm convinced he's going to find or is looking for someone who can give him what I am not and im just driving him away. I dont even know what it is that im not giving him but I'm definitely giving him a reason to leave me because I'm suck a [email protected]@k nut...
Everything just seems to be all over the place... what should I do... where can I go? How do I get thinking positive? How do I stop these panic attacks without breathing through a paper bag? (Work doesn't know I suffer with it) how do I stop being so sensitive? Can anyone make sense of what I have put?? Or am I babbling?
Yours kindly, Elizabeth x
 
V

voyager

Guest
Oh Elizabeth, I feel for you:hug1:I've just read this and I didn't want to ignore you. I've felt like you in the past and I had to start taking anti-depressants which have been a life saver for me. We are all individuals and cope in different ways and I'm not sure that you want to take tablets to help you. Anxiety is a terrible thing, so maybe you need something for now?
 
E

Elizabeth S

New member
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
2
Thank you for replying, I honestly thought I would be alone. Id love to be able to take the tablets if im prescribed any but when I am feeling like this, I used to take everything and anything to try and stop it! I just think that it might be dangerous for me to have them! But I think I will go to my doctor and see if I can take some for now, and non addictive! I do need something to get out of this vicious circle, I know in my head I have anxiety amd the more I know im getting an attack the harder it is to ignore it! It's almost as if I'd think "yup, its coming..." and then bosh, its there! But it gets worse each time. I'd love to be able to do things for other and I try to on a daily basis! But I dont do it to make myself feel better, its just because people need help! But perhaps I need to look at it a different way and feel what I've done rather than kust a thing to do! Im so pleased I have a reply and really appreciate your comments, its like with just the acknowledgement has made it a bit better inside to know that ive been listened to! Xx thank you! Xx

D
 
Top