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I don’t know what to do or feel

T

TK0010

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2018
Messages
4
Location
Ashford
Hi, I am very new to this and don’t really know how to explain what is up with me but it seems like my glass is always half empty. I have negative thoughts about absolutely everything, for example, my ex girlfriend told me about a holiday she had 5 years ago and i automatically thought she had slept with someone etc, it all just got too much so I questioned her on it to which she took offence.
I don’t really trust anyone and the last person that I did trust was my ex girlfriend but my problem got in the way.
I would love to hear if anyone else has this and if they have found a way to control their feelings/emotions?

Please anyone help
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,223
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
welcome to the forum ,i completely empathise with what you are feeling,i too see things negatively all of the time
i have learned over the years this is to do with my severe anxiety ,i was wondering ,do you suffer from anxiety yourself?
i think some therapy's such as DBT can help with feelings/emotions
so instead of you/me always jumping to the negative conclusion we are able to see the glass half full instead of half empty

you are very welcome ,i hope you will like it here
love Lu x
 
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T

TK0010

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2018
Messages
4
Location
Ashford
Thank you for the warm welcome, I don’t think that I suffer from anxiety.
What’s DBT?
 
SoftRain

SoftRain

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
1,467
Location
sillyville, USA
Hello.
When I was young my negativity came from insecurities and jealousy.
My first boyfriend, if he spent anytime away from me I thought that he was cheating or didn’t want to be with me.
He probably did need a break from me because I was so possessive.
I also was mad about his past relationships. Which was quite silly because we all have a past and we can’t change the past.
He never gave me reason to believe he was cheating. I spent most of my time worried about these things that I couldn’t enjoy most of the good times. My thoughts were irrational.
I was always thinking the worst.
I think with age and experience I learned that I was driving people away.
Welcome to the forum.
 
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TK0010

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2018
Messages
4
Location
Ashford
Hi softrain, thank you for your reply and kind welcome. Did you manage to do anything to sort out this issue?
I know exactly what you mean as I am exactly the same and she has given me no reason whatsoever not to trust her and again I am upset with her past relationships as they were violent. I really want to get to the bottom of my problem and learn how to deal with it better but I am also worrying that I have lost her for good. Is this the case do you think and what would you recommend?
Thank you for all your help
 
SoftRain

SoftRain

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
1,467
Location
sillyville, USA
Hi softrain, thank you for your reply and kind welcome. Did you manage to do anything to sort out this issue?
I know exactly what you mean as I am exactly the same and she has given me no reason whatsoever not to trust her and again I am upset with her past relationships as they were violent. I really want to get to the bottom of my problem and learn how to deal with it better but I am also worrying that I have lost her for good. Is this the case do you think and what would you recommend?
Thank you for all your help
I wish I could tell you a magic solution, but I don’t have one. I still continued to act this way after we broke up and with future relationships. I was a slow learner...lol I still can have those feelings but I don’t have to act on them. I let them pass. I had to work on it.
You can’t do anything about her past relationships. I wouldn’t even mention them unless she does and the best thing you could do is support her and listen.
I don’t know what state your relationship is in. But it’s never to late to apologize. Explain it’s your problem not her.
I do hope it works out for you.
 
T

TK0010

New member
Joined
Aug 19, 2018
Messages
4
Location
Ashford
Thank you for your advice, yeh the magic solution would be priceless, how do you manage to ignore it and not act on it. I was like that at the beginning of our relationship then she asked me to open up more to her so I did but unfortunately when I open up it comes out as me being insecure or jealous. I really don’t know why I feel like it, I have tried to go back through my life to see if there is anything that would have triggered it but I can’t think of anything.
 
F

Flip00008

Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
11
Hey! Sorry this is going on. I have felt this way before as well. My son was going through some health problems and all is seen was the negative things in life. I was in a bad state of mind and I only focused on the darkness around me. My sons health did get better and I had realized that I was missing and had missed all the beautiful around me. I try to find the good in every situation now and going through that rough spell only made me stronger. I will be praying for you.
 
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