I don’t have BPD, but...

[Maddyyy]

I have problems in the way I interact with people and form relationships.

My perception of a person can change in the blink of an eye, when somebody does something wrong in my view I suddenly have a big distaste for them. However when they do something kind again I love them tons again. This isn’t the case for everybody but for a few people.

When I fight with one of those people I also want to suddenly cut them off. I want to block them on everything and delete all the pictures that I have with them. As if I try to start afresh and forget about them completely.

Sometimes I also obsess over people. It was twice when this happened, one time in 7th grade. The second time was actually up until a hour ago!! I was very obsessed with and overbearing to a close friend of mine. She however is not comfortable with it at all and called me out for it. I got extremely upset and immediately wanted to cut all ties with her. That didn’t end up happening however since I realized my fault in thinking and I apologized to her.

So the big reason why I definitely don’t think I have borderline is because I don’t desperately try to hang on to ppl, it’s the opposite.

I didn’t know where else to post this, so I thought maybe you guys could help? Considering you know from experience what it’s like to struggle with relationships. Hopefully someone will be able to help me out into realizing why I behave like this and how I can fix it.

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

were all in the middle.

 

[Maddyyy]

were all in the middle.

Yes, I agree. However I mostly wondered how I could practice controlling my impulsivity & form healthier relationships with people. Maybe i’ll have to figure that one out on my own though.

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

Yes, I agree. However I mostly wondered how I could practice controlling my impulsivity & form healthier relationships with people. Maybe i’ll have to figure that one out on my own though.

are you under 30? if so just wait longer and it should go down with age

take magnesium every night before bed too and avoid junk food

exercise so your internal energies get dissipated.

 

[Maddyyy]

are you under 30? if so just wait longer and it should go down with age

take magnesium every night before bed too and avoid junk food

exercise so your internal energies get dissipated.

Ah yes, the cure to all, magnesium <3

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

Ah yes, the cure to all, magnesium <3

if u take it before bed over time it calms the brain and nervous system

try it for 6 months and report back

 

[LittleMissNameless]

Try DBT therapy
A component is managing realtionships

 

[toto]

Try psychotherapy. I think it is good to get acquainted with the concept of emotional intelligence. To know how you feel and how to react. Maybe it's nice to separate anger from love. Because you may be angry with one person, but love him at the same time.

 

[Maddyyy]

Try DBT therapy
A component is managing realtionships

Try psychotherapy. I think it is good to get acquainted with the concept of emotional intelligence. To know how you feel and how to react. Maybe it's nice to separate anger from love. Because you may be angry with one person, but love him at the same time.

thanks!

 

[Blue Opal]

Hi. I don't have BPD either, I used to have it though and I still have traits. I can relate very much to what you wrote. I've had a lot of therapy for BPD but this black and white thinking is still with me. When I split on someone, and that especially happens with my boyfriend, I try to think: OK, I hate him now, I want to split up now because he... (insert anything he said or did to make me angry or sad). This will pass. Just give it time.
I don't act on my thoughts, I just wait it out. Try to talk with him, understand why he said or did what he did. And eventually I'll switch back to loving him again. That usually takes a day with a lot of anger and crying spells. But it passes.

 

[toto]

Love is not a constant quantity. One always maneuvers between one's selfishness and love for others. Love is a mutual benefit often. Every mother, no matter how much she loves her children, for example, sometimes gets tired and needs time for herself. That doesn't make you a bad person. I also hung up. It is difficult for me to be a hypocrite, although hypocrisy was a useful trait.

 

[toto]

I had friends who told me that I was constantly complaining that I had negative energy too ... when my world was broken, I couldn't be positive. I don't like to talk about general topics. I ended my relationship with everyone. With the people I talk to, unlike before, I no longer share worries, events in my daily life ... and they feel uncomfortable with what they told me.