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I don’t even know what I feel

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MissMadison1020

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Ohio
To be honest I never even considered having BPD as a possibility. I thought I was always just very emotional. But after being in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend 3 (possibly going on 4) times and breaking it off over and over again, I’ve really been thrown for a loop. I really do believe I love this man and that he’s my soulmate, but after roughly 3 months into any of our relationships I suddenly lose feelings. He’s my best friend and I literally can’t live without him. This loss of feelings is uncontrollable. It makes me upset. Because the love that I feel in those times with him is real. And it’s like all of that leaves me.

But that’s not the primary issue I’ve been having with my BPD. I have had serious outbreaks of anger and have been dealing with bouts of depression for going on 6 years now. Most people consider me “emotionally intense” or “deep”. I make crazy impulsive decisions and I can’t seem to get it under control. Can someone give me advice on how to cope with this?
 
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BPD truth

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Cincinnati
Do you know you have BPD for sure?

The only way to beat BPD is to learn the difference between thinking and feeling and realize the two work in coexistence.
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
961
Location
australia
do you ? let it go

do you want to go making it your fault

it's not your fault
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
991
Location
Norfolk
To be honest I never even considered having BPD as a possibility. I thought I was always just very emotional. But after being in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend 3 (possibly going on 4) times and breaking it off over and over again, I’ve really been thrown for a loop. I really do believe I love this man and that he’s my soulmate, but after roughly 3 months into any of our relationships I suddenly lose feelings. He’s my best friend and I literally can’t live without him. This loss of feelings is uncontrollable. It makes me upset. Because the love that I feel in those times with him is real. And it’s like all of that leaves me.

But that’s not the primary issue I’ve been having with my BPD. I have had serious outbreaks of anger and have been dealing with bouts of depression for going on 6 years now. Most people consider me “emotionally intense” or “deep”. I make crazy impulsive decisions and I can’t seem to get it under control. Can someone give me advice on how to cope with this?
BPD causes you to flit between two emotional extremes, either a hyper happy mode or a hypo detached suffering mode. Both cause you to suffer as you are purely making decisions based on your feelings, rather than facts. In essence your thoughts always lead back to the core negative beliefs you have about yourself, you are unlovable, you are worthless, you don’t matter etc. These thoughts trigger self destructive actions such as anger, self harm and addictions. They are urges which you believe will give you temporary relief from your suffering but unfortunately all urges actually make you feel worse and only act to increase your inner turmoil and suffering.
I’d advise you look at self help material, or find yourself a psychologist. The area you want to look at is called Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT). This will teach you how to control your emotions through learning how to be mindful, that is living in the present moment. Meditation, Yoga and exercise are also very helpful in calming your mind.
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
991
Location
Norfolk
BPD causes you to flit between two emotional extremes, either a hyper happy mode or a hypo detached suffering mode. Both cause you to suffer as you are purely making decisions based on your feelings, rather than facts. In essence your thoughts always lead back to the core negative beliefs you have about yourself, you are unlovable, you are worthless, you don’t matter etc. These thoughts trigger self destructive actions such as anger, self harm and addictions. They are urges which you believe will give you temporary relief from your suffering but unfortunately all urges actually make you feel worse and only act to increase your inner turmoil and suffering.
I’d advise you look at self help material, or find yourself a psychologist. The area you want to look at is called Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT). This will teach you how to control your emotions through learning how to be mindful, that is living in the present moment. Meditation, Yoga and exercise are also very helpful in calming your mind.
 

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BPD truth

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Cincinnati
Guys I'm planning to have my website up and running later. I'll link it in here. But pay it a visit and share it. Trust me it'll be mind blowing.

But I'll share this with you. Borderlines genuinely believe they have great potential but never reach their potential. This is due to the fact that they have some of the most brilliant minds on the planet. They just can't get unlock them. Theyre like absolutely no one else they just don't realize it yet.

Now if you don't believe me thats OK I don't need any validation anymore from anyone. Im just here to tell you that and to look out for the link
 
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MissMadison1020

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Ohio
I’m not one to self diagnose, but I’m too nervous to go to an actual psychologist. Not to mention the possible cost. I have researched and everything for months and I’ve never seen something more accurately describe me. I know that “self diagnosing” really angers people but I have little to no options.
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
991
Location
Norfolk
I’m not one to self diagnose, but I’m too nervous to go to an actual psychologist. Not to mention the possible cost. I have researched and everything for months and I’ve never seen something more accurately describe me. I know that “self diagnosing” really angers people but I have little to no options.
I think with BPD you can self diagnose. You either have the traits or you don’t and if you have five or more, you’re BPD.
 
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MissMadison1020

New member
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Ohio
Okay thank you Lunus, it’s been upsetting me.
 
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