• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I did it! I got a job!!!

MadEmma

MadEmma

Active member
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
36
Location
lala land
I have borderline personality disorder with impulsiveness and bi polar. I have real anxiety issues and social phobia and have spent most of my time hiding away and not going out much. I got myself a allotment last year and it was about same time (april/may) that I got it. I remember i had to go and meet the people off the parish council to get my key and get alloted a plot and that there were about 12 other plots and people for them meeting down there same time I was so nervous i was really shaking and jelly knees and keppt having to walk away from the group and breathing thinking just try and get through it without passing out!. Now a year later I have managed to get a job on the parish council as a safety inspector and gatekeeper for the local park. I cant believe i have managed to do it after looking back at how I was then and looking where I am now I am so suprised!!!
I was so scared when I had my first day meeting the councillors at the park to go over the job and sign all the forms etc. I nearly didnt go, i felt the fear in my tummy and the short breath coming on as usually happens and said my hellos to them and told them that I was sorry but i was so nervous as i havent worked for so long and please bear with me if i get the shakes or mix my words up. I found telling them how i was feeling really broke the barrier for my nerves as they were really friendly and not worried and made me feel more relaxed.
I started my job and really have enjoyed it. I mix a lot with people and it is quite daunting when I have to lock up at night ties as I have to tell people to get out the park and they are older youths and I am small and feel intimidated.

I only get a £20 a week as benefits take the rest off me but i have got structure now in my daily life as i have to get up and open the gates for 8.30am and not lie in bed hiding away all day.

I hope my story will show that we can achieve anything, even the things we never drempt of.

emma xx
 
D

Dufus

Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
16
Location
Manchester UK
Congratulations. It is good to hear that people are being friendly to you, and things are getting better for you, and you are enjoying your job !
 
ally41

ally41

Well-known member
Joined
May 21, 2010
Messages
788
Location
UK
Congratulations! I understand the theory that people can be accepting of MH problems at work but I've yet to pluck up the courage to test it out, anyway I'm still way too agoraphobic to take that step. It's heartening though to hear your story and great that you've discovered that by being honest and being yourself, that you are able to do this job, rather than having to pretend to have a 'normal' persona which can cause so many problems for us. I hope that you continue to be happy in your job and that you can be yourself in more aspects of you life, my therapist would say that if you can, your MH problems should ease ;) xx
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,625
Congratulations for getting over the hurdles - long may it last
 
D

DynamitePanda

Member
Joined
May 25, 2010
Messages
5
Location
Michigan
Congrats!! I can't imagine the mental struggles you went through, trying to... push threw! That must make you feel really good about yourself, and will fuel your efforts to do more socially and open, positive things.
:drool::clap:
 
MadEmma

MadEmma

Active member
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
36
Location
lala land
Its all gone wrong!

I have managed a week in my new job, and tonight jacked it in. I cant do it anymore, it is making me bad. The job was locking and unlocking the gates and doing a safety check daily. I have ended up with having to be involved with abuse from older youths down there throwing deck chairs around near me, verbal stuff, trying to get on my moped. I had to do crime reports with the police every day as they have been vandalising the stuff and had to do interviews for the paper about the lads and do loads more than the job said i should be doing. I had to meet the police and do a walk round the park infront of the lads and they wanted me to name and shame who had been doing what and it is all too much for me to handle.
I have been thinking about the asbo behaviour all the time worrying myself silly and dreaming about it. I woke up today and I couldnt stop feeling sick to the point i was nearly being sick. I went early to open the park as i would avoid everyone then and I called in sick for the paper interview (another one) and at night after staying in bed hiding all day I broke down in tears and phoned up a parish councillor and sent my hubby down with the keys.
I told them I cant cope with the asbo behaviour and all the police stuff. i just wanted to do something to get me out socially and help me with my social phobia and for twenty quid a week I wasnt doing it anymore. it was making me feel terrified of going to the park and I feel horrible now as i feel i have let everyone down. I feel that wasnt the job for me. I have got to tell my boss on monday why i packed it in and i dont know what to say.

:(
 
D

Dufus

Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
16
Location
Manchester UK
I'm sorry to hear that. Im sure that situation would have been too much for a huge majority of people. No way was it worth all that grief for £20. They should have warned you what might be instore before you started !!!

Dont worry about what to tell your boss, you dont have to tell him anything, you could just say "personal reasons" and leave it at that, or if you did want to explain a bit, just tell him exactly what you wrote here, or just print it out and give it to him !

Anyway I hope you can build on the positives that you felt at the beginning, as you wrote on your first post, and put all these troubles behind you in time, and find a more suitable job !
 

Similar threads

Top