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I did a thing, a positive thing!

PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2019
Messages
152
Location
Northern Ireland
Ok so I’ll give a short version of what’s gone on lately and then what happened tonight. Pretty much flare ups of chronic pain, bad mentally health and vertigo from teens. Chronic fatigue from childhood, IBS from 2011 and many more things. From 2011 onwards flare ups worse and more often and then from 2017, what used to be a flare up was the norm and flare ups, well they’re crippling. In Jan 2018 diagnosed with fibromyalgia due to anxiety, depression, sensory overload, wide spread chronic pain, chronic fatigue, IBS, vertigo, insomnia and more. Left work Feb 2018 and have all but hidden from the world since.

This is where people, or in my case friends come in. Up until 2014 I hung around with people who bullied me, abused me financially, emotionally and some even physically. Mid-2014 met new friends through the few that didn’t abuse me and that was that! For about 18 months all was great! I was out regularly, flare ups were intense but I got through them with my friends and always knew good would come after the bad. Moved out on my own rather than shared accommodation/with friends, started properly dating my now fiancé, work was great and life was pretty rosy!
Then gradually my anxiety and depression started getting worse, IBS, vertigo and pain etc as well. I went to counselling before i went on only my third international holiday and first with friends. Things stabilised for a while, then we had a bereavement in the family which was hard but my now fiancé asked me to move in. I turned 29, things were still okay. But due to worsening anxiety the year before, and things like the death and such I’d been going out less and less and keeping in touch with a smaller group of people. Then during 2017, I can’t pinpoint when but the pain became constant, as did most my other symptoms and things went down hill. I still had my partner but had, without really meaning to, shut out a lot of friends. I talked about leaving work and was convinced to stay with the prospect of a secondment/promotion in the summer. I struggled through the rest of the year and secondment pretty much never going out at all and spending most my time outside work sleeping. This of course also put strain on my relationship but we made it through.
Jan 2018 lots of years had been done, got my diagnosis which has been both the best and worst thing, best as I was finally able to start taking care of myself and leave work, explain why I was the way I was but worst as I let it define me. Cut off contact with pretty much everyone and barley left the house for over a year. Some friends I’ve not seen since 2017 now and that sucks.

Without overly wanting to I’ve almost lost some of the best friends I’ve ever had. I don’t kno what triggered it but tonight I decided enough was enough. I composed a message and sent it to a bunch of my friends. I told them I was sorry, I missed them and wanted to rectify this! Now me being me, I waited till after 11pm to send this so not gotten many replies yet but any so far have been good.

So yeah, I reached out and am trying to mend bridges so wish me lyck
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,884
Location
England
Hi,
Sorry to hear about your pain etc, I have chronic pain to.
Glad you met new friends and are in an relationship.
I have fibromyalgia, have you tried any treatments etc.
Well done for finding new friends, you don't deserve to be abused.
Thanks for the update.
Take care
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2019
Messages
152
Location
Northern Ireland
Hi,
Sorry to hear about your pain etc, I have chronic pain to.
Glad you met new friends and are in an relationship.
I have fibromyalgia, have you tried any treatments etc.
Well done for finding new friends, you don't deserve to be abused.
Thanks for the update.
Take care

Fibromyalgia SUCKS at the moment I’m just on the highest pain meds my docs can give me and amytriptaline for the pain.
Sertraline for depression/anxiety though doesn’t work for anxiety
Propranolol for anxiety attacks and migraines
Sumatriptan for migraines
Imodium did IBS and a few other meds. I’m on 4 waiting lists at the moment to get better treatments, I’ve a mental health assessment in the morning.
For my other 3 waiting lists, 1 of which I’ve been on over a year, will likely be 2020 before I get seen :(
 
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