- Oct 19, 2020
- United Kingdom
So I’ve posted many many times about a situation with a kind-of-ex that I was having a really hard time getting over. I was really struggling however over the last couple of months I’ve really felt like I’m getting better at not thinking about him nearly as often. However, that all changed two nights ago when my friend had arranged for he and I to meet up and work things out, which I appreciated at the time and we actually were able to reconcile. After quite a bit of drinking we did end up kissing a lot, even though we agreed to be friends. I felt strangely okay about it however I know he’s bad for me and I know he’s still talking to this other woman he’s involved with and the whole thing is a recipe for disaster. Since then he has messaged me saying he’s really glad we could work things out however he doesn’t seem to remember the kissing part and honestly I’m just confused. He’s messed with my head so many times and I really don’t want that to happen again. I had him blocked for so long and now I feel like I’ve just gladly let him back into my life and haven’t protected myself emotionally. For some strange reason I just cannot seem to let him go and it’s so frustrating because over time he’s become an integral part of my friend group and I’m not getting a whole lot of support from them. The anxiety is so overwhelming and I wish I could just simply not think. I have such a hard time trusting him as well as my friends and I find that it just completely ruins my happiness.