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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I can't think without crying anymore.

M

Manda

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
86
Location
Leeds
I'm great at superficial discussion, but I've started telling people that there's no point getting through this if there's nothing beautiful left at the end of it.
I've got a bizarre thing going on about my sister, which wouldn't matter except mum's 80th birthday is on the 20th and, although she has more disposable cash than me she says she can't contribute.
I'm in Tier 2, it will be 3 by mum's birthday.
I'm trying to buy presents, arrange a home cream tea ( breaking the rules as they will be, but with a totally isolated woman whose husband is in a home for dementia like my dad), but there is something not right.
She's about £50000 in debt with legitimate companies. I have no idea how much she owes pay day companies and the car has had windows smashed in at the front of mum's house.
She is basically homeless, but claims mum couldn't cope without her. Which may be true, but my 79 yr old mum pays her to clean, but does floors on her hands and knees herself. To be fair, I do keep suggesting mop type stuff is available. But my sister sees nothing wrong with this.
My sister does have her own health problems.
Dad has had dementia for 15 years. But obviously we can't visit. There has been C19 in the home. To my shame once dad became comatose I couldn't see my dad anymore, but not being able to hold his hand has meant mum won't go anymore.
Everything is such a mess. I'm trying to stay asleep as much as I can, but it isn't really helping.
 
M

Manda

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
86
Location
Leeds
I haven't explained myself at all.
Every time I start to think about what is actually happening I feel like I'm slipping a little. That's how I became distracted about my family.
 
M

Manda

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
86
Location
Leeds
Thank you. Today has been awful. When C19 lockdown started it was we're all I this together, but that isn't true.
Today has been the worse of it.
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
Hello Manda. You sound like you have such a lot going on in your life. When we are in such pain it is understandable to cry. It can be really hard to focus on our well being while caring for others.
 
M

Manda

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
86
Location
Leeds
A little better, thank you. Being able to just say how I felt was good.
 
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