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I cant take anymore......

A

Adi01

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Mar 27, 2010
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60
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Berkshire
Im a forty nine year old male suffering depression for 15 years plus. Anti depressants, counselling, group therapies,even hypnotherapy!! i feel i have had the lot but no nearer my true goal of happiness in myself. Its not really too much to ask for is it?

Last night i woke around 3am mind was racing, agitated, couldnt relax and i stayed awake, listening to the birds outside and ive come to realliance i desparately need to nail this down How can i be so popular at work, get on with all my colleagues etc but onCe i get home i become a different person. Paralysed by fear of rejection. It feels as if i have lost the skill of meeting and being with people. I know in my heart i can be a social person, i would be liked but im / too gripped in fear to ask the question. Where do i go? Nearly 50 and i dont want this life anymore.

Why am i like this? the answer is i dont know, this is what hurts me the most. How can i find out? Am i to old to be assessed, am i ok to see a pyschologist, can they help me?

I NEED ADVICE, ANYTHING, PLEASE......
 
amathus

amathus

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Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
16,317
Location
goodness knows!
Im a forty nine year old male suffering depression for 15 years plus. Anti depressants, counselling, group therapies,even hypnotherapy!! i feel i have had the lot but no nearer my true goal of happiness in myself. Its not really too much to ask for is it?

Last night i woke around 3am mind was racing, agitated, couldnt relax and i stayed awake, listening to the birds outside and ive come to realliance i desparately need to nail this down How can i be so popular at work, get on with all my colleagues etc but onCe i get home i become a different person. Paralysed by fear of rejection. It feels as if i have lost the skill of meeting and being with people. I know in my heart i can be a social person, i would be liked but im / too gripped in fear to ask the question. Where do i go? Nearly 50 and i dont want this life anymore.

Why am i like this? the answer is i dont know, this is what hurts me the most. How can i find out? Am i to old to be assessed, am i ok to see a pyschologist, can they help me?

I NEED ADVICE, ANYTHING, PLEASE......
Hi there,

To answer you're main question, no, I don't think you are too old to have an assessment.
You have the option of seeing you're GP, explaining how you feel and he may refer you for a psychological assessment...bearing in mind that waiting lists to see a psychologist can be a fair wait,,but you can establish that at the time.
There is also the option of seeking out a private Psychologist for help, but obviously that will cost.

If you can you need to try and maybe join a hobby club, or perhaps Mind has a group which meets locally.
I'm afraid if you can you are going to have to bite the bullet and seek a social group which may suit you're needs. As I was told, it won't come to you.
It's probably going to involve some research, but that can become part of the fun.

Hope you are successful, and I hope life improves for you.



meteos.
 
schiz01

schiz01

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
721
Location
Australia
Reading a book at the moment called Lighten Up Dance With Your Dark Side by AL Galves.

I would highly recommend it
 
D

DELATEXT

Guest
Mean Mean Reds

The mean reds have you in their horrid grip and you feel you have no hope, no future ??
Only the Doctor can help you, please go see them asap,
Wish I could give more help you more ??
The darkness is awful and getting away from it is never easy, please do not give up, the illness is causing to feel despair.


:unsure::tea:
 
pinkprincess

pinkprincess

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May 3, 2010
Messages
85
Location
East Yorkshire
Depressionthe curse of thtrong book is really useful too x
 
ally41

ally41

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May 21, 2010
Messages
788
Location
UK
49 is not old and there is definately still plenty of time to change and time left to enjoy.

It doesn't sound like you've had proper long term therapy? I've been doing Art Therapy for 7 years and I can't recommend it highly enough. It's taken me this long to really get to grips with what my problems are, but it's been so worth it and I intend to continue for as long as it takes because like you, I wouldn't be interested in living if I didn't.

It sounds to me from my years of therapy (although I'm not a therapist) that you need eventually to stop trying to carry on as you are. You are a different persona at work, this will be having consequences for you that you will only discover whilst doing therapy for a long time. I have only just given up work 6 months ago after struggling for so long to keep up an 'I am normal' persona in a business world. It took me that long to realise why I could not continue and it was oh so scary as well as financially crippling. But I absolutely know that I will not get better until I stop and rewrite my mind before I try again.

I have only one friend left and even she is going to fade away as I have realised that I need different people in my life and different ways of managing relationships to be healthy. Again, this has taken me many years to accomplish.

We are very resistant to change. We will even engage in activities that purport to initiate change, but we are in denial and we stay where we are.

I spend my days now walking in the park. Looking at the birds, streams, clouds. I don't put any pressure on myself, I don't even cook, I eat sandwiches or ready meals. I do my garden, slowly and only when I feel like it. I spend hours on my computer. Basically I have stripped myself down to the bare bones in order to learn how to live again, this time properly and AS MY TRUE SELF. I don't know who she is yet, I think it will be 3 years before I am ready to try working again. But I know that when I am, my world will be very different.

I am 7 years ahead of you. You have a lot of hard work to do, but it can be done and it is so worth it. The biggest natural high is knowing that what you are doing is true, real and healthy. Learn, be forgiving of yourself and never lose hope xxx
 
ally41

ally41

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Messages
788
Location
UK
P.S. I would say don't seek a social group. Stop and re-evaluate first. Otherwise you will only present yourself in your persona and this will not help you.
 
A

Adi01

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2010
Messages
60
Location
Berkshire
Thank you all for your replies you have all given me much too ponder with and i can only hope i make use of helpful comments.

Ally41 i am particulary interested in your comments. You have clearly given a great deal of thought and what appears to be a complete clense of your mind is what you are advocating. however necessary,im not sure if i can do that (bravery is something required) so i will look elsewhere. Starting with a therapist (probably private) because i really cant wait any longer. So i will be back and let you know how i get on. Thanks again!!
 
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