• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

I can't stop thinking about self harm

siamesetwins

siamesetwins

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2021
Messages
89
Location
England
I was recovered for so long I don't know why it's suddenly all I want to do to myself. Its like I feel so hideous that I'm convinced I deserve it and I don't want to stop. I know I should stop because its a bad coping mechanism but for some reason I don't care anymore. It feels as harmful to me as going and smoking a cigarette. Like sure, they're comparable because they're both unhealthy but cigarettes are considered normal. My self harm feels oddly normal despite how bad it looks on my body. Now that I'm an adult I can hide it and nobody will bother checking, that in itself almost feels like I can 'get away with it' or whatever. I don't know, I really thought I had grown out of these behaviours but I still stupidly find comfort in it. So long as nobody sees it I don't know if I can stop
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Staff member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,399
Location
England
Please try and distract yourself, do something different. I'm sorry i don't know much about self harm but i understand difficult emotions and wanted to 'do something' with that.

Can you go for a walk? It might help. Scream, punch pillows, slam pillows into the wall and let it all out?
 
M

morty2

Former member
Joined
Jul 25, 2021
Messages
1,544
Location
kent
Your not Hideous for starters!!!!,,ur a lovely person. Dont do yourself down!!!!...Give yourself a hug,think of good things about you,what you like,,comforts. I used to when i was very young ,,self harm for a little while, i spose some people move to other things. Treat yourself well. Your not a bad person.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
I was recovered for so long I don't know why it's suddenly all I want to do to myself. Its like I feel so hideous that I'm convinced I deserve it and I don't want to stop. I know I should stop because its a bad coping mechanism but for some reason I don't care anymore. It feels as harmful to me as going and smoking a cigarette. Like sure, they're comparable because they're both unhealthy but cigarettes are considered normal. My self harm feels oddly normal despite how bad it looks on my body. Now that I'm an adult I can hide it and nobody will bother checking, that in itself almost feels like I can 'get away with it' or whatever. I don't know, I really thought I had grown out of these behaviours but I still stupidly find comfort in it. So long as nobody sees it I don't know if I can stop

If I'm truthful self harming does not help at all even though some of us do it for a minutes relieve it will not take the pain away even though you might think it will. I self harmed for most of my life from the age of about 11 till I stopped when I very nearly lost my hand through self harming at the age of 40 and I have not self harmed since then and I'm now 59 so 19 yrs it is now. I knew in my mind that I had to sort out all the demons in my head and through a charity I did just that but I do still think why the hell did I self harm in the first place if it did not help me. If you are in the UK try and get in touch with a charity called Turning Point as they saved my life but I had to put a lot of work in from my side.
 
KittyCat92

KittyCat92

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2021
Messages
3,532
Location
United Kingdom
Maybe I shouldn’t advocate this but sometimes going outside for a cigarette stops me self harming. It’s not healthy, I know. It’s that few minutes outside, focusing on the cigarette or even focusing on what’s happening outside, cars, people walking, birds, cats.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
23,976
Location
England
This thread has some good coping tips.
 
FallingLeaves

FallingLeaves

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2021
Messages
100
Location
England, UK
@siamesetwins I hear you when you talk about being able to 'get away with it'.

I live alone and work from home full time so there is a big part of me that's like 'fuck it, no one will see' but I will still have to live with the shame of inflicting these awful injuries on myself, so I try to steer away from it if I can. Sometimes I am more successful than others though.

I am sending you good vibes to get through this x
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
5,231
Location
California
Last night I put an ice pack against my back and got under the covers with a towel around my neck and shoulders and a heating pad against my stomach. The tower felt like a comfort treatment around the cold- Like things would be okay. For me it felt like giving warmth to cold and I was able to go to sleep.

Hope you are able to find alternatives that help you. xo
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Staff member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,399
Location
England
Rest
 

Attachments

  • 8fd8e4fa0b8754e7823a27c5d6514d69.jpg
    8fd8e4fa0b8754e7823a27c5d6514d69.jpg
    203.5 KB · Views: 2
siamesetwins

siamesetwins

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2021
Messages
89
Location
England
Thanks everyone for the replies, it means a lot :) I will keep in mind some of the tips you shared
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
i hope this might help you, this morning i was in a terrible place in my head and my thoughts of self harm were the strongest they have been in nearly 20 years and i was very down and depressed and thinking self harm would help me through it. i sat down put some music on with my headphones and wrote in my journal here and members gallery i wrote out so much in both and along with positive thoughts and a pickled onion that i now feel quite relax. when you get the thought you have to really dig deep and stop yourself from doing it. i hope this might help you, and today iam pround to say iam still nearly 20 years stopped self harming so it can be done.
 
siamesetwins

siamesetwins

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2021
Messages
89
Location
England
I'm going to try not to self harm all day today. I know that sounds silly but I have been doing it daily, I hope I manage
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
5,231
Location
California
Doesn't sound silly. One day at a time at first. Knowing that you have made a positive and safe decision for you for today is big. xo 💗
 

Similar threads

C
Replies
3
Views
285
Keesha
K
S
Replies
6
Views
324
stone_tears
S
J
Replies
6
Views
975
rosebetween2thorns
R
Top