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I can't stand much more

E

Eskimojo

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2014
Messages
3
I was mentally tortured and I ended up in a&e and the torture continues today and I get more and more stressed, anxious and depressed, it triggers my PTSD which was originally caused by the initial torture and it's effecting my health, my blood pressure gets Sky high each time and I feel close to snapping and losing it.

I abuse pain meds that were given to me for my knee so that I can feel good for a while and it's short lived.

I am looking to try Kratom in my country the UK and that is my last hope to be able to cope.

Mental health don't have the resources to get me treatment any time soon and if I hints don't improve come mid January I will check myself in to hospital.

Part of me is consumed by hate and anger and how I at treated, another part of me wants revenge by I know if I allow myself his angry and dark thoughts to rule me, I will lose what little of a life I have left.
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,043
:welcome: to the forum.

Good luck getting Kratom because from what I have just read it's illegal.

Sorry you are struggling so much.

Marliee x
 
E

Eskimojo

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2014
Messages
3
It's legal in the UK, it hurt my tummy
 
M

Mastiff mom

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 22, 2014
Messages
1,157
Location
Washington,DC
Dear Eskimojo, I'm sorry you've been through so.much and are still suffering. You talk about being tortured. Could you, if you are comfortable, explain what happened to you? I hope you'll find a lot of support here. Hugs.
 
E

Eskimojo

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2014
Messages
3
I was taken agains my will, left without my meds and deprived of water, finally I became very ill and they then left me for dead, I managed to get help

I ended up in hospital and I get flash backs. I reported what happened but you go through the story over and over as best as you can and they keep in touch but it just feels they are no closer to catching them.

I know it's not ideal but I sleep with a knife in the draw next to me In case someone tries to attack me again.

I see a therapist soon and maybe they can help.
 
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