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I Can't Pretend I'm Ok

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wednesday addams

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2021
Messages
449
Location
the attic with my headless doll
Every day is hard but the holidays are really hard. I think about holidays when my parents were here. Thanksgivings with my family all of us sitting around the table. My grandma, now I'm sitting alone in silence hating everything death most of all. Death is not ok, being alone is not ok. I envy people who still have their parents, who have family and children. It's not ok and I'm angry, I once believed in God now I'm not sure anymore. Too much suffering in this world. It's not ok.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
1,935
Every day is hard but the holidays are really hard. I think about holidays when my parents were here. Thanksgivings with my family all of us sitting around the table. My grandma, now I'm sitting alone in silence hating everything death most of all. Death is not ok, being alone is not ok. I envy people who still have their parents, who have family and children. It's not ok and I'm angry, I once believed in God now I'm not sure anymore. Too much suffering in this world. It's not ok.
Oh no...I'm so sorry that this is how things are for you.

I expect I'll be in the same boat as I get older. My greatest fear is losing my parents. Once they're gone, I'll have only a small distant family who may also be gone by then. I have my partner but she's 16 years older than me. I have no kids. Never wanted them. I have some friends. Most don't live near me.

Sigh.
 
Marmalade

Marmalade

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 2, 2012
Messages
64
Location
Herne Bay, Kent, UK
Every day is hard but the holidays are really hard. I think about holidays when my parents were here. Thanksgivings with my family all of us sitting around the table. My grandma, now I'm sitting alone in silence hating everything death most of all. Death is not ok, being alone is not ok. I envy people who still have their parents, who have family and children. It's not ok and I'm angry, I once believed in God now I'm not sure anymore. Too much suffering in this world. It's not ok.
My thoughts are with you. I, too, have lost both parents and have no real family left that I see any more. Just one niece whom I keep in touch with. I was my mother's full-time carer in her final months. She was the only person in my life who really understood me and was always there for me with my mental health problems. When she finally passed away, I lost a rock and anchor: a lodestone for my life. I'm comforted by having some of her possessions, and I still feel her around me. I get little 'signs' every now and then which could just be coincidences - but I choose to believe not. It's just me and my cat now, really - and we keep each other company. I will be working over Christmas, but will otherwise be alone. So I'll send my thoughts out to you then, as now. And to everyone else alone at these times. At least we're not alone on here. :grouphug:
 
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wednesday addams

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2021
Messages
449
Location
the attic with my headless doll
My thoughts are with you. I, too, have lost both parents and have no real family left that I see any more. Just one niece whom I keep in touch with. I was my mother's full-time carer in her final months. She was the only person in my life who really understood me and was always there for me with my mental health problems. When she finally passed away, I lost a rock and anchor: a lodestone for my life. I'm comforted by having some of her possessions, and I still feel her around me. I get little 'signs' every now and then which could just be coincidences - but I choose to believe not. It's just me and my cat now, really - and we keep each other company. I will be working over Christmas, but will otherwise be alone. So I'll send my thoughts out to you then, as now. And to everyone else alone at these times. At least we're not alone on here. :grouphug:
Hi, I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for the kind words, and thoughts.🦋
 
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wednesday addams

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2021
Messages
449
Location
the attic with my headless doll
Oh no...I'm so sorry that this is how things are for you.

I expect I'll be in the same boat as I get older. My greatest fear is losing my parents. Once they're gone, I'll have only a small distant family who may also be gone by then. I have my partner but she's 16 years older than me. I have no kids. Never wanted them. I have some friends. Most don't live near me.

Sigh.
Hugs to you.❤
 
Missypoo1969

Missypoo1969

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2021
Messages
72
Location
Oregon USA
Hello. I’m new here today and I just want to say I thought I was the only person alone with no one. I’m sorry you have to feel that pain. My family ignores me. My daughter died a few years ago and my entire family split. I am the one who carries the blame. Deserved or not idk. It’s extremely hard on holidays to be so alone.
 
W

wednesday addams

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2021
Messages
449
Location
the attic with my headless doll
Hello. I’m new here today and I just want to say I thought I was the only person alone with no one. I’m sorry you have to feel that pain. My family ignores me. My daughter died a few years ago and my entire family split. I am the one who carries the blame. Deserved or not idk. It’s extremely hard on holidays to be so alone.
Hi welcome! Im sorry for your pain.
 
P

Posey

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 9, 2021
Messages
119
Location
United States
Every day is hard but the holidays are really hard. I think about holidays when my parents were here. Thanksgivings with my family all of us sitting around the table. My grandma, now I'm sitting alone in silence hating everything death most of all. Death is not ok, being alone is not ok. I envy people who still have their parents, who have family and children. It's not ok and I'm angry, I once believed in God now I'm not sure anymore. Too much suffering in this world. It's not ok.
[/QUOT I feel the same. I am not close to my mom. She is selfish and keeps me at arms length. We don't even spend the holidays together. I am estranged from my biological father. Although I have tried to be close to my sister, we are not close - she also lives in a different state. Holidays are very hard for me too. It just reminds me of my grandmother, uncle and the few people that really loved me who have passed away. All the losses and the lonliness are unbearable. You're right, it isn't OK. I hate it. Life is unfair.
 
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