Beside myself. Crying so much. So much pain. My head is a mess. I can't cope. My daughter is with her dad now so I can breakdown in private. I don't want to die but I feel so hopeless and helpless. Life is a mountain I have no energy to climb. I hurt so deeply. Pain runs deep. I'm scared and I don't think I will ever repair. I'm not living fully. I hibernate from the pain of the world. The stress. Life. I hide.