- Nov 28, 2019
I've known my ex for years. We've always dated off and on and it always wasn't the healthiest, but over time I just couldn't find myself to let go. I met her when I was 10 years old. We broke up again for the 100th time and again I just can't get over her. I feel like my whole life revolves around her and I'm empty and desperate for her. What's weird is that I absolutely despise her. I'm not attracted to her and I don't even like her personality (when she's nice she's good to be around) but all she does is hurt me. She's able to get over me so easily and im just.. stuck. I can't move on and I haven't ever been able to. We always get back together but I just want it to end. I feel like I'm being tortured, because I can't make my own decisions without regretting them. I have the strongest urges to just text her and even ask how she's doing, if she's okay, or of she really hates me? I did earlier this night and regretted it immediately when she told me she had a boyfriend. It just hurts so fucking bad. I don't know how to get over this and I'm desperate for help right now. I know later that when I'm in an okay mood I won't want help and deny therapy. But right now I'm desperate enough to make an account on a random website for help. If you've read this far thank you so much.