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I cant get my sister to come out of her room

J

Jess

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2008
Messages
2
Hi,
I'm really hoping that there is someone out there than can help. My sister is 17 and for the last 4 years she has only left her room to go to school. Now that she has finished school she only comes out of her room to go to the toilet. She will wait in her room all day untill my mum gets in,she can bring her up a drink or something to eat. She is rude and abusive. She won't go to college or get a job. My mum is on benifits and can't afford to keep her now that the money has stopped for her. This truely isn't right. Me and my brother are nothing like this. When we tried to get the DR in to talk to her she screamed the house down and became very voilent. Everytime we try to help her she says she going to ring the police and say shes being abused. We don't know where it has come from. Now she doen't even wash. We think its because she has no confidense. Its very sad because she very well in her exams and had loads of friends. :confused::confused::confused:
 
H

homegirl

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
21
Location
south west england
Sorry to hear about your sister. This has to stop, if not for her sake but for the sake of your mum. I think you need to phone social services and speak to somebody there about what is happening because if any thing should happen to your mum what is going to happen to your sister. If she is unable to work because of issues, and who knows what has happened to her, then she at least needs to be able to claim sickness benefits because she needs money to live on.
At least if you register your concerns with social services and your sister goes off on one and the police are called then at least you have back up to say that social services were informed.
I feel sad for you and your mum. But just make that phone call or call into social services.
Perhaps you sister was bullied or abused in some way that nobody knows about and it is causing her great distress.
:hug:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
I think your sister needs to be registered as a vulnerable person with Social Services. If she is almost 18 she may be registered as a vulnerable adult.

This isn't within the "normal" spectrum of behaviour - it needs to be addressed for all your sakes. Keep coming back.
 
J

Jess

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2008
Messages
2
We will try to call the social services and see what they have to say. The only thing I can think that has coursed this is both mum and dad had bad depression about the time my sister was born for a few years... I think she picked up on it then... because she was never a happy child and was for ever screeming the house down... Anyway ill keep you up to date.. Thank for the info
 
Last edited:
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hi there,

Good luck with social services. I don't mean to put a downer on things but my experience with social services is that they often aren't that interested in anyone beyond the age of 16 even though they have a statutory duty of care. Despite this I would agree that it's the right thing to do to at least register your concerns with them.

I understand that this is an incredibly difficult situation to deal with and I'm probably putting my foot right in it, but, what would happen if you mum stopped taking drinks and food to her - would this draw her out of the room so that she was taking part in more normal life?

Look after yourself and make sure your mum and dad do too!
 
Norabella

Norabella

Active member
Joined
Sep 19, 2008
Messages
25
Location
England
to some degree your mum needs to take action so I agree with those who have suggested that your mum stops waiting on her - sure make her a cup of tea when you make yourself one but then call her and tell her to come and get it, even if she takes it back to her room at least it is one less thing for your mum to have to do.

Lets face it she used to go to school and came out every day so she is more than able to - she is just taking advantage of your mums concern and the rest of the family as well, I'm not saying she doesn't need some kind of help but waiting on her isn't going to help.

Just how old is she BTW and how long has she been behaving in this way?
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
How is it going Jess? I hope that things are looking a little more positive?
 
M

maudikie

Guest
To Jess.

You should call out your doctor for a home visit. It is his duty to come. It may be as well to write to him a s well and keep a copy of the letter. Your sister obviously needs help. You could also ask for an assessment of need for yourselves as carers. But it is your sister who needs the attention first.
Has she ever been in contact with the Mental Health team? You could also ask them for help.
 
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