I can't eat food around others/extremely self conscious

G

George10111

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Jul 7, 2017
Messages
259
#1
I'm very self conscious and I can't eat in front of others anymore. So many people live in my housing that I literally can never eat by myself anymore, unless I eat in my room. It always seems people have conversation with me while I've got food. They ignore me at all other times of the day and when I need someone to talk to but they can never leave me alone while I'm eating. I'm not good at eating, I make a mess and its embarrassing. People ask me questions while there's food in my mouth, expecting me to respond.

I can't stand eating with others. I have a hard time talking to people and its even more awkward when I'm trying to eat because I don't usually have anything to say so they can hear every chew and swallow. I gave myself an indigestion because this new girl wanted to sit down and talk to me while i was eating, which I don't mind talking to people really except when I'm trying to chew. Food and meals loses all its joy when there're people around. I can't go out to restaurants anymore either. I have to count my calories religiously because I have a very stubborn metabolism for a 25 yr old and I don't want to spend one of the only parts of the day that brings me comfort and joy, tripping out about what people think of me.

Side note I can't go to the bathroom when there's people around. There are a lot of people in this housing, constantly going into the bathroom. These bathrooms are located right in the public corridors of this housing so its incredibly difficult. I find myself driving to the local outhouse a mile away sometimes. How can I get over these phobias?

I have been made fun of a lot in my life for little things like this so maybe there's some scarring that needs to be treated and healed.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#2
Hi George. :) I never understood why people want to talk and eat. When I was 16 I took drugs and went out with a terrible guy who took me to a restaurant. While I was trying to eat he kept saying I was holding my fork all wrong and eating all wrong and chewing all wrong and he just was so mean to me. I couldn't eat around other people for a few years after that.

All I can say is you have as much right to be there eating your meal as anyone else. Maybe you could tell them clearly, setting a boundary, that you do not have conversations while you are eating but you would be happy to talk to them after the meal. Communicate this clearly. That's what I would do in that situation.

We have a bathroom here with a flimsy folding door that doesn't shut all the way. There's another door three feet away that closes off the hall. People come over and are really annoyed by the flimsy bathroom door so I tell them close the big heavy hall door and you'll be soundproof.

It's hard when you don't have a private environment.
 
J

Jennknew

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Joined
Feb 17, 2018
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25
#3
Omg I have this too !!! One time I was working at a gym and I ate in the women's locker room beind a curtain!! I only can eat normally in front of my son
 
G

George10111

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Jul 7, 2017
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#4
Poopy doll, I'm sorry to hear about your dating experience. That sounds awkward and that boy you dated sounds extremely rude. People give me weird looks when I take bites, looking at me as if they're looking at someone starving eating for the first time in days. That's why I don't like eating around others. People have often called me a slob for how I eat, and how much I eat. People have gotten mad at me and called me out for being a slob many times, with eating. People have even called me out for stinking up the bathroom, not to give you too much info there. Its annoying though how some people get mad at you for basic bodily functions, like how you eat, etc. Its like I don't hold it against you for being a jerk and that's something you can help so why are you condemning me for a basic body function that I can't help? Lol.

I have lost some embarrassment and shame I feel for my physical functions though because I'm a young, thin athletic person who could outrun most if not all the people in my housing, not to elevate myself. I take meds which also elevate my appetite. Anyway sorry about my ramblings
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#5
Hi George. You know I only learned a couple years ago that people in some countries like Afganistan (sp?) eat with their hands sitting on the floor reaching into a common platter !!
 

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