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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I can't cope with all this rejection.

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dale

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 18, 2010
Messages
52
I must be a horrible person because everybody I have ever loved has rejected me, my mother when I was nine then foster family after foster family. The last set who I thought liked me won't write back ignoring my letters. I'm stressed out because they filled in my benefit forums and they are up for renewal soon and I'll lose all my money. So at this moment I have nobody in my life, no friends, no family, nothing!

Sometimes I think why bother carrying on. I'm not depressed but why bother.
 
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starfish

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
655
Location
country cottage
having no one

i am sorry you feel that you have no one at the moment. do you have a mht or cpn? if so you could ask for help to fill in the forms. keep posting on here and maybe you will be able to move forward . take care. im off to bed now. ive had a long day. will log on here tomorrow or the weekend. take care.:sleep:
 
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*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Dale you can get assistance with filling in benefit forms. Are you in touch with the social services? Or the mental health services? Both of those services can offer support in this way.

You can also contact the Citizens advice Bureau http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ they may be able to help you fill them in or point you to someone that will.

I can not imagine what it must have been like to be in care for so long, it sounds like it was and is very difficult for you. You must have had so many responsibilities and worries for someone so young.

I am not sure how old you are but I left home at a young age and pretty much had to start from scratch, I am now married and have a home and many friends.
The hardest years were the first few years, it was a hard transition, my friends were at uni, i moved to a different area it took a while to get established but things gradually got easier with time.

There is support out there for young persons, many places offer free counselling for young persons across the UK, many up until the age of 25 years. If you type youth counselling and your home town into a search engine I am sure you will find some that are reachable (if you are in the UK of course).

Try not to panic and it might help to look at your problems in small manageable chunks and prioritise them in order of what is most important and needs doing first. Maybe for tonight look at the CAB link and contact someone tomorrow to see about those forms, if you are on your own money is very important.

Please keep yourself safe.
 
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dale

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 18, 2010
Messages
52
I used to be under social services but I never want to see them again, I hate being a number and its them I've not got any help with my thoughts because when they tried to section me at the police the social worker was horrible to me and I guess they all adult team social workers are the same. I went to counselling when I was 16 in Nottingham that social services paid for but they told the counsellor something that was totally wrong and after the third session the counsellor asked me about my 'problems' which embarrassed me and I never went back, I'm now 24 without any friends, well only one who come up every money and brings some beer with him knowing if I get tipsy I'll walk down to asda and wait for my benefits to go into my bank and I'll buy some more. I end up spending all my money and he goes home until doesn't ring or speak to me until the next Monday, I guess I'm so useless I can't say no. Thanks for the replys
 
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*Sapphire*

Guest
Oh dale, it really sounds like you are going through a real rough patch.

I guess my experiences of adult services and child ones have been very different. I felt in adult services there was less portioning of blame, just more acceptance of the situation. The child services tended to try and force me into things I didn't want to do with no respect for my feelings or the impact it would have on me. I felt like they were in control, and they felt that they knew best, it was horrible.

Why not try an independant counselling service? They usually will not have access to your notes and you tell them as much as you want to, you are an adult and in control of that.

Can you change the day your friend visits you? So you can withdraw your money on a Monday, get your essentials and then have a drink with whats left later in the week?

Have you been to College? Is it something you would consider? Or some voluntary work? Many charities are crying out for volunteers at the moment and there are so many different types of roles you can do. Both things are a great way of meeting people and perhaps making some friends?
 
ally41

ally41

Well-known member
Joined
May 21, 2010
Messages
788
Location
UK
What you have been through has caused you a lot a damage. The care system is not set up to offer real help to people afterwards and they are just discarded and left to fend for themselves. I can tell you that you are not a horrible person and that it's not your fault, but when you've been told all your life that you are worthless, it can't even make a dent.

Get some therapy, it doesn't mean you are mad, it just means that you will be taking charge of your own life and recognising that what you've suffered is real and that you deserve to be healed. I personally recommend Art Therapy, it really gets to the bottom of the feelings of all the parts of ourselves and works to stop self-destruction.

Therapy takes a long time, think about how long you've been suffering and accept that there is a lot to get through and don't expect a quick fix. Avoid cognitive behavioural therapy, it's not right for you and won't address the deep hurt that needs to be heard and healed.

Most people who've been in care go on to self-destruct. You have taken an enormous and very important step towards helping yourself and caring for yourself by asking for help. Acknowledge to yourself how important this is and how amazing that even though you've been so badly neglected, there is still a part of you that wants to take care of you. That is really amazing, I wish you all the best, I really do xx

P.S. It might take you a while to find the right therapist, don't be afraid to keep pushing for a different one if they don't feel right to you, the right one is out there. (I tried 3 before I found mine)
 
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Blondie

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
396
Location
Lancashire
Hello Dale,sorry for all you have been through.People on here care though as you have some replies hun.Have you thought about a college course like Sapphire suggested?You can get courses fees waived since you are on benefits.A good place to make friends AND learn.You already have experience of the care system so maybe social work or carer for kids?You could help so many as you understand.Good luck love.
 
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ginger

Active member
Joined
Mar 16, 2010
Messages
27
Location
burrleigh heads gold coast Australia
Hi Dale I have a couple of suggestions for you ,I carnt help with any of the sevices because I live in Australia, and I dont know how your system works over there, but you could try your youth fellowship in your area I am not promoting religon everybody has their own views but they are very good over here with the foster kids and and street kids and unemplyed and especially people with physicological problems, they certainly wont be waiting for you to get money and buy beer.they have good connections with certain agencies and maybe able to help you in your situation .all the best keep in contact with this forum the people on here are very helpful good to see you are seeking help thats a very positive sign Ginger
 
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