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I can't cope like this any longer.

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Becky Breakdown

Active member
Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
26
Location
Uk
I seriously despise the way I'm living. I hate myself. All I do is make my life worse for myself and then moan about it. I've been feeling like this for nearly 2 years, and I don't think that I can carry on...
My main problems are that I don't try enough to make friends and I don't try enough to keep the friends that I've already got. I've identified the problem, and I what I need to do to solve it; I just can't bring myself to change.
I know that I need to start involving myself in conversations, but I don't; I know I need to stop having a go at my friends and moaning for no reason, but I don't; I know I need to start confiding in my friends because I'm hurting them when I don't talk to them, but I don't.
I'll get into the worst moods where I want to cry for hardly any reason at all. For example, If I don't get a text back or something small, I'll be convinced that all my friends hate me and they don't want to do anything with me.
Like the other day, I tried to talk to my best friend about self harm for the first time. I got as far as telling her I self harmed, but then when she tried to ask me why and what she could do to help, I got nervous, wouldn't tell her anymore and had a go at her.

What can I do? I can't live like this.
 
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gmh

Guest
i strongly suggest you go see your GP, i know this is the last thing you wanted to hear but trust me I've been there at your age and thought I had beaten it only for it to return now, a couple of months off my 21st birthday. Im sure you dont want to be living your life wondering whats about to sneak up on you around every corner.
 
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Becky Breakdown

Active member
Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
26
Location
Uk
i strongly suggest you go see your GP, i know this is the last thing you wanted to hear but trust me I've been there at your age and thought I had beaten it only for it to return now, a couple of months off my 21st birthday. Im sure you dont want to be living your life wondering whats about to sneak up on you around every corner.
I know that's what I need to do, but I can't bring myself to do it. What am I supposed to say to them? :unsure:
 
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gmh

Guest
i recently had a bad bad bad struggle with making myself attend the GP. the first step is tell yourself that tomorrow you will ring the GP no matter what happens, even if you feel fine on the day. The second step is making your way to the appointment, putting one foot in front of the other when your walking towards something you are dreading is a horrific process but with each step you get stronger. The third and final step turn out to be the easiest. You are sat in the doctors surgery awaiting to go in, you have a note in your pocket with what you are feeling written down, perhaps even print out what you wrote in this forum? Anyway this note is like a safety blanket, if when you get into the room words fail you and you feel silly then hand the doctor this peice of paper. I promise you he wont laugh or think you are silly, he will be professional, read your note, ask you a few questions and explain how he wants to deal with it.

Honestly I cant beleive Im speaking like this because a few short days ago I was a nervous wreck even contemplating the doctor but afterwards I cant beleive I let myself get into such a state about it.

Just break it down into easy, manageable chunks and things will sort themselves out. :)

Ring the GP tomorrow, step number 1 :)
 
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Becky Breakdown

Active member
Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
26
Location
Uk
I don't plan on letting my mum know anything; if I go to the doctors will she have to know?
 
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gmh

Guest
yup what the poetess said, shes pretty much got it all covered :D ^^
 
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Becky Breakdown

Active member
Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
26
Location
Uk
Thanks :)

I can't stop worrying though :(
What sorts of things will I be asked? Will I have to be referred to anyone else?
 
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gmh

Guest
im not expert but I think it depends on the doctor and how severe he thinks your case is. He might feel he is able to deal with your symptoms on his own. Or he might refer you to a community mental health team who can help you better than he can. Questions will be easy just how do you feel? is the anything thats happened lately ot make you feel like this? how often? do you know why? just easy things and as long as ou are open and honset you will receive the necessary help you need. i have a feeling the poetress will be able to help you a little better here though :)
 
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ThePoetess

New member
Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
3
Hi Becky,

Your mum will not need to know anything if you are over eighteen. If you are under eighteen it will be at the discretion of your doctor although you have more rights if you are between 16-18. (This is in England and Wales in Scotland you are an adult in law at 16).

If you are under 18 and self harming you can call confidential and free here. It will not show on any telephone bill and you can use a false name if you wish. You can also use a mobile.

http://www.getconnected.org.uk/2/how-to-contact-us/by-phone.html

If you are over eighteen anything you say will be just between your GP and any other professionals involved in your care.

Even the Police do not have an automatic right to medical records. And no other authority has an automatic right to look at them either e.g. employers.

So please rest assured and go to your GP. Why don't you print down what you wrote in your post, (deleting the website details and your user name if you want privacy). That might be a start. I for one thought you explained your problems very well on your post.

Best wishes,:)

Fiona

PS Added a link in case you are under 18!
 
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Becky Breakdown

Active member
Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
26
Location
Uk
Your mum will not need to know anything if you are over eighteen. If you are under eighteen it will be at the discretion of your doctor although you have more rights if you are between 16-18. (This is in England and Wales in Scotland you are an adult in law at 16).
I'm 15. My mum can't know, she really doesn't understand things like this and I don't want to have to struggle to tell her as well.
I do think that I come across as quite a mature person, do you think that will affect who the doctor involves?
 
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gmh

Guest
i understand what you mean about not telling your mum, ive been there.

but this shouldnt affect your decision of whether you seek help or not.

please go see your GP and you can take things from there...
 
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Becky Breakdown

Active member
Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
26
Location
Uk
I know this sounds bad, but I may as well be honest. I won't seek help if my family are involved. I'd rather just not bother trying to sort myself out than explain to them.
 
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gmh

Guest
yep i understand, i would have done the same, it could come back a million times worse in a few years, its your decision whether you take that risk like i did. its really not a nice thing but you just do what youve got to do. nobody on here can persuade you otherwise just give our opinions and experiences to help you decide. as thepoetress suggested perhaps make an appointment at at the start, as your doctor about confidentiality issues. he will be honest with you about that then you can decide what to do.
 
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