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I can't cope anymore please help

C

Charlene89

Active member
Joined
Oct 28, 2018
Messages
41
I'm writing this in tears on my bed. I feel sick to my stomach. I spoke to my gp yesterday who's sent me links. I've joined the waiting list on steps to change. He talked about meds but said he didn't feel they were always a good idea. He said they were short term. I don't like the sound of antidepressants and the side effects. Nausea seems common on them and I feel sick to my stomach as it is.

Basically I've developed a low mood and anxiety. I can't go out much because my body goes into fight or flight mode. Walking is ok with the kids. But as soon as I commit to anything the nerves kick in.

I pushed myself Tuesday to go for a day out with the kids. It was an hour away. I booked the tickets in advance as you have no choice. That in itself felt a huge commitment. I couldn't sleep well through worrying the night before. Then the day came and my anxiety flared up throughout the day. I cut the outing short. I spoilt it for everyone. My poor partner is off work and my anxiety has stopped us enjoying it. He's being understanding but I can see he looks down himself now.

Since Tuesday I've had horrible symptoms. Panic attack early hours of Wednesday morning. All day Wednesday I felt headachy and sick. Yesterday wasn't much better. bad stomach. couldn't sleep. Today my mood is really low. I feel irritable and down. I feel sick. I feel teary. My little girl just asked to do some maths with me. I had to walk away and come upstairs because I just can't function.


The worst part about it is I've got no confidence in regards to September and getting her too and from school. It's a long walk and I know I can't do it at the moment. My partner said he will help the first few days. But that's not enough. I literally don't trust myself right now and my ability to be a parent.

I've never felt this terrible. I've never been so worried. I am struggling to feel happy. Because I'm exhausted from all the symptoms I can't go out much. I hate going out with weakness and a sickly tummy as it just makes me panick.

I'm upset. I don't want to die but that's what will be the best option if this is life now. I don't see how it can get better. Please help me. Charlene x
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
6,614
Location
Sheffield
I'm so sorry to hear about your difficulties with anxiety.

I hope you can find support and advice here to help you get through this, in the mean time have you checked out our page on anxiety?


You have my deepest sympathy and best wishes.
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
Charlene, I am so sorry to hear all you are going through. The first thing is, medication can help anxiety as it can reduce it. I understand you are wary of symptoms but not all of them cause sickness. You sound very overwhelmed right now and it could really take the edge of how you are feeling.

Anxiety is not your fault. You cannot help fearing going out and I am sad you are putting so much blame on yourself. I think it is important for you to understand that anxiety is something that is not in your control and you must not beat yourself up about struggling to go out.

Have you been offered any therapy? Many people find CBT helpful for anxiety as it teaches coping methods and ways to deal with the anxious thoughts. I am so sad and sorry you want to die. Anxiety can improve with medication and therapy. It will not always be this difficult.
 
D

Dizzy23

New member
Joined
Aug 1, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Uk
I'm writing this in tears on my bed. I feel sick to my stomach. I spoke to my gp yesterday who's sent me links. I've joined the waiting list on steps to change. He talked about meds but said he didn't feel they were always a good idea. He said they were short term. I don't like the sound of antidepressants and the side effects. Nausea seems common on them and I feel sick to my stomach as it is.

Basically I've developed a low mood and anxiety. I can't go out much because my body goes into fight or flight mode. Walking is ok with the kids. But as soon as I commit to anything the nerves kick in.

I pushed myself Tuesday to go for a day out with the kids. It was an hour away. I booked the tickets in advance as you have no choice. That in itself felt a huge commitment. I couldn't sleep well through worrying the night before. Then the day came and my anxiety flared up throughout the day. I cut the outing short. I spoilt it for everyone. My poor partner is off work and my anxiety has stopped us enjoying it. He's being understanding but I can see he looks down himself now.

Since Tuesday I've had horrible symptoms. Panic attack early hours of Wednesday morning. All day Wednesday I felt headachy and sick. Yesterday wasn't much better. bad stomach. couldn't sleep. Today my mood is really low. I feel irritable and down. I feel sick. I feel teary. My little girl just asked to do some maths with me. I had to walk away and come upstairs because I just can't function.


The worst part about it is I've got no confidence in regards to September and getting her too and from school. It's a long walk and I know I can't do it at the moment. My partner said he will help the first few days. But that's not enough. I literally don't trust myself right now and my ability to be a parent.

I've never felt this terrible. I've never been so worried. I am struggling to feel happy. Because I'm exhausted from all the symptoms I can't go out much. I hate going out with weakness and a sickly tummy as it just makes me panick.

I'm upset. I don't want to die but that's what will be the best option if this is life now. I don't see how it can get better. Please help me. Charlene x
Hi. You basically sound like me right now :( you’re not alone. I’ve gone from being such an outgoing person to not being able to leave my house :(
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,941
Location
Glasgow
I'm writing this in tears on my bed. I feel sick to my stomach. I spoke to my gp yesterday who's sent me links. I've joined the waiting list on steps to change. He talked about meds but said he didn't feel they were always a good idea. He said they were short term. I don't like the sound of antidepressants and the side effects. Nausea seems common on them and I feel sick to my stomach as it is.

Basically I've developed a low mood and anxiety. I can't go out much because my body goes into fight or flight mode. Walking is ok with the kids. But as soon as I commit to anything the nerves kick in.

I pushed myself Tuesday to go for a day out with the kids. It was an hour away. I booked the tickets in advance as you have no choice. That in itself felt a huge commitment. I couldn't sleep well through worrying the night before. Then the day came and my anxiety flared up throughout the day. I cut the outing short. I spoilt it for everyone. My poor partner is off work and my anxiety has stopped us enjoying it. He's being understanding but I can see he looks down himself now.

Since Tuesday I've had horrible symptoms. Panic attack early hours of Wednesday morning. All day Wednesday I felt headachy and sick. Yesterday wasn't much better. bad stomach. couldn't sleep. Today my mood is really low. I feel irritable and down. I feel sick. I feel teary. My little girl just asked to do some maths with me. I had to walk away and come upstairs because I just can't function.


The worst part about it is I've got no confidence in regards to September and getting her too and from school. It's a long walk and I know I can't do it at the moment. My partner said he will help the first few days. But that's not enough. I literally don't trust myself right now and my ability to be a parent.

I've never felt this terrible. I've never been so worried. I am struggling to feel happy. Because I'm exhausted from all the symptoms I can't go out much. I hate going out with weakness and a sickly tummy as it just makes me panick.

I'm upset. I don't want to die but that's what will be the best option if this is life now. I don't see how it can get better. Please help me. Charlene x
Im sorry to hear of your struggle but i understand it. Im 39 now and ive been dealing with those types of feelings since i was 12. Talking is a good step even if its only yext on here.
 
M

Mel123

Active member
Joined
May 12, 2020
Messages
25
Location
USA
Your not alone! I'm 36 and also get the same awful debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. Then I worried something else is wrong and get health related anxiety. It's be there worst it's ever been the last 6 months. I totally get the feeling that there is no end and you just don't know what to do. The good news is there are lots of medications that can help make this easier. Nothing has to be permanent or even long-term to help you get to the next day. Getting to someone to talk to you like a therapist is probably going to be the most helpful in the long run. But also trying to find medication that's not addicting but will lessen the symptoms would probably help now. I'd suggest talking to your doctor about possibly a low dose of propranolol to help get rid of the fight or flight feelings. It doesn't really stop my panic attacks when they get bad but it definitely lessons the day-to-day feelings of anxiety. A lot of people find relief from antidepressants with there anxiety too.
the best thing you could do is to remember to take everything one little bit at a time. If there is one thing I have really learned in the last 6 months it's that sometimes I have to live minute-to-minute hour to hour and not day by day or week by week.
 
nutsie

nutsie

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
300
Location
Keeling
Sorry to hear you struggling Mdme

You can cope. Only you thoughts say you can not. You is cope when you write message on forum

Take care

Nutsie xx
 
S

Sophie80

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Ip5
I'm writing this in tears on my bed. I feel sick to my stomach. I spoke to my gp yesterday who's sent me links. I've joined the waiting list on steps to change. He talked about meds but said he didn't feel they were always a good idea. He said they were short term. I don't like the sound of antidepressants and the side effects. Nausea seems common on them and I feel sick to my stomach as it is.

Basically I've developed a low mood and anxiety. I can't go out much because my body goes into fight or flight mode. Walking is ok with the kids. But as soon as I commit to anything the nerves kick in.

I pushed myself Tuesday to go for a day out with the kids. It was an hour away. I booked the tickets in advance as you have no choice. That in itself felt a huge commitment. I couldn't sleep well through worrying the night before. Then the day came and my anxiety flared up throughout the day. I cut the outing short. I spoilt it for everyone. My poor partner is off work and my anxiety has stopped us enjoying it. He's being understanding but I can see he looks down himself now.

Since Tuesday I've had horrible symptoms. Panic attack early hours of Wednesday morning. All day Wednesday I felt headachy and sick. Yesterday wasn't much better. bad stomach. couldn't sleep. Today my mood is really low. I feel irritable and down. I feel sick. I feel teary. My little girl just asked to do some maths with me. I had to walk away and come upstairs because I just can't function.


The worst part about it is I've got no confidence in regards to September and getting her too and from school. It's a long walk and I know I can't do it at the moment. My partner said he will help the first few days. But that's not enough. I literally don't trust myself right now and my ability to be a parent.

I've never felt this terrible. I've never been so worried. I am struggling to feel happy. Because I'm exhausted from all the symptoms I can't go out much. I hate going out with weakness and a sickly tummy as it just makes me panick.

I'm upset. I don't want to die but that's what will be the best option if this is life now. I don't see how it can get better. Please help me. Charlene x
Hi Charlene, your post really struck me as I'm dealing with something very similar. I am a mum of two amazing boys but I have horrible anxiety mostly around my health and families health. I risk assess everything and try to control everything to keep minus safe but its exhausting and over the last couple of months I have had days where I feel so sick with it I haven't got out of bed. I know it is affecting my children and the guilt is awful. I feel trapped by my anxiety and like I'm bringing everyone down. I just wanted to reach out to you to say I get it. Having to paint a smile on for the kids while breaking inside is awful. Hoping for better days and sending you lots of love.
 
C

Charlene89

Active member
Joined
Oct 28, 2018
Messages
41
Good morning. Sorry its taken me weeks to reply. I've been up and down and wasted alot of energy trying to get support on Mumsnet. I've finally deleted my account this morning as I realized people can be really unkind of there.


I haven't moved any further forward. I have good and bad days. I've got kalms in the cupboard but never know whether to take them.

I'm so sorry others are struggling. I wish there was more acknowledgment about how humans are feeling after such drastic changes to their lives.

Next week routine is needed as school restarts
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
I am so sorry people have been unkind on there. You would think people would be understanding. Did you go to your GP and tell them what is going on?
 
C

Charlene89

Active member
Joined
Oct 28, 2018
Messages
41
Hi yes I did and he's left the option with me but said there's a long wait for therapy and meds weren't usually something he wants to try first. He said it was my choice but alot of the side effects put me off. I have kids and I fear being drowsy, queasy and numb. He suggested anti depressants over anxiety meds.
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
I can understand it is not ideal for you to feel drowsy. It may be an idea to try an antidepressant then. I really feel you need something as you sound so low. It is frustrating that there is a long list for therapy but I would get on the list as soon as possible.
 
R

Rcristal

Member
Joined
Aug 26, 2020
Messages
24
Location
North Carolina
Charlene,

I am a 70 year old man suffering as you are. When I was mid 20s I went through this. Now, later in life here I am again.

Please know that you are not alone. There are many good people in here who understand you and send you good thoughts.

I have a number of Medical issues but am unable to tolerate Medicine. This includes antidepressants. I am not in favor of them nor am I against them. I simply can't handle them.

I do not normally offer advice as it can backfire. I tend to offer support. However, I would urge you to purchase the writings of the well known Australian Physician of the 20th century, Dr. Claire Weeks. She writes, in simple terms about depression, anxiety, agoraphobia etc. Long ago she basically gave me my life back. Her method is to use acceptance. I have pulled her writings back out after all of these years. Like you, I am really suffering. When at my worst I practice what she teaches. It is simple but not easy. You can, also find her on YouTube.

I will hold you, " in the light."

Rcristal
 
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