I can't cope any more, I really can't. Please don't ignore

S

Seth1403

Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2014
Messages
15
#1
Hello everyone.
I don't know what to do right now. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I can't cope. I have a disabled brother who has autism and mental health problems and my mum can't cope with him so she leave home everyday and I have to deal with it. He hears voices, talks to things that aren't there and when he has a moment where things don't go his way he will hit himself and smash things. I have mental health problems of my own and due to not being able to get my medication because I can't leave my brother home because he threatens to commit suicide, my mental health problems have risen to the surface and I'm currently having racing thoughts and paranoid delusions and mood swings and I've tried to tell my mother this but she just says "If I go and something happens to him then it's my fault". Monday I have to go and get my pills and attend an appointment at the job centre but to do this I have to leave and my mum has already said she is not staying home to look after my brother. I haven't had my pills in almost a week and I'm worried that the doctors will say "If I can go a week without then I can go without indefinite" and I have had appointments I've missed with my psychiatrist due to this and last time I lied and said I was fine just so I could get home quickly as possible and he discharged me when I wasn't well. I don't have a social life anymore because of this. I've not had one in 3 years. I've not been out since October and I've not been able to speak to any friends and as a result I've fallen out with them. I feel so suffocated and all I want to do is cry. I'm even thinking of self harming to stop myself from getting lost in my racing thoughts. Due to not having good contact with my psychiatrist and not being able to go to doctors, I've not had a diagnosis and I'm taking fluoxotine. I've been googling for ways to numb emotions I'm in such a state and I'm not sleeping. Nobody wants to know and nobody will listen. I've even been told if I tell anybody I'm out on the streets. I've been googling and youtubing ways to help me cope but nothing works. Breathing exercises don't work and meditation doesn't work because I can't clear my mind. My racing thoughts don't help and fighting them and not giving in to what ever mood I'm in is so hard. I'm having moods where I'm so angry and feel like going crazy but I hold it all back and now I've got such a bad headache and my head feels like theirs a ball bouncing inside all the time. I'm lost right now...
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
oh Seth what a terrible situation you are in. Have you thought about contacting social services and explaining to them that this is an emergency and you need urgenthelp? Ring your doctor and say that you can't escape and need urgent help too. He has access to all kinds of agencies who might be able to reach out and help too.

Your brother may be autistic but he is also highly manipulative saying he will kill himself if you leave. YOur mother is being totally unfair to say the least. Is there anyone else you can turn to? I think social services are the way to go and ask for help from there. They have an emergency number in Britain, but I am assuming you are British and maybe I shouldn't. If you are then the number to call is available in google for your area. When I typed it in then it just came up with my area.

You can't go on like this.Sooner or later you are going to have to leave him alone and get your own health sorted out. Write it all down as you have here and have it to hand so you can hand it to someone when you get help. It will save a lot of time and effort for you. This has to come out into the open and not be kept behind closed doors any more.