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I can't communicate with people

M

Miliana

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
74
Location
France
I don't have any friends at college, and though it made me deeply sad the first years I don't mind it as much anymore I have less things to worry about when I get home.
But still, the worst is when I see people around me getting to know each other while I am alone, talking to no one.
I feel so terrible.
And when somebody talks to me the conversation doesn't last, they always go away and never sit next to me because I don't talk. I wish I could, but i just don't know what to say and this whole situation is scary.
I feel very stupid and embarrassing when I talk and I try to control myself.
But people just don't want to stay with me.
I watched a few people ignoring me because I couldn't decide to talk to them, even though I actually want to be friends with them, I think.
Seeing people I once talk to, talking to the person next to me and becoming friends with them sooo fast is devastating. Knowing that it took me weeks to finally know my new "friend's" name and it took then only a few minutes...
I am very jealous how social and outgoing people are, because of that I feel very out of place.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
8,209
Location
Canada
Do you mean in the classroom, it is hard talking to classmates? I felt that way back in university too. Sometimes I'd have a few words with someone about what we were studying, but sometimes I'd freeze up and not talk feeling uncomfortable, which made the other person uncomfortable too if you don't even say hello or anything. It was an awkward time for me.
 
Siegfried

Siegfried

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
506
Location
South America.
There's no way to truly cheat having social skills, some people are just wired differently.

But no matter how difficult or awkward you should do your best to always keep trying because loneliness is incredibly destructive and will only do more damage over time.

Perhaps a small tip is to at least pretend to be actively interested in others when trying to strike a conversation, ask them about themselves, pay attention to what they say, inquire more about some detail they mention. Its a way to take the pressure of the conversation off you and to come off as more likeable as almost everyone likes talking about themselves.
 

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