• Welcome! If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

I cant be here anymore

A

abertha

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Messages
69
I don't know what to do. It's been just over a year since I moved from the UK to Norway with my other half, and I am no more settled in now than when I got here. I have gone to lessons to try and learn the language so it would make it easier to get a job, but I have so little confidence I just can't get around to using it. I have never even said a word of norwegian to him, as I am scared he will laugh at me and think im ridiculous.:confused:

I have no money, no support system and the only person I know is my boyfriend, but he is at work all day and I just sit at home and do housework. I have severed all ties with the UK, so even if I moved back (alone, my other half would not come) I would have no money for a place to stay or no idea where to go.

I am so stuck, I really don't know what I should do, it doesn't feel like there is anyway out? I have told him how I feel and we have many discussions about it, but ultimately he does not understand as he is a norwegian citizen and loves it here. I'm so upset :cry:
 
P

Prasada

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
119
Location
London, south Wales, Bristol, Oxford, East Anglia
Difficult though it may be, with any language speaking it in an everyday conversational setting is an essential part of learning. I’ve had that with French, German and Polish.

Many Norwegians speak English, often better than many native speakers, it must be said.
 
A

abertha

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Messages
69
Thanks, but that seems like a strange answer seeing as my problem is confidence and not learning ability.
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,625
I feel very much for you - it is so hard to struggle alone - I know how you feel - unfortunately I do not have any answers but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your feeling
Keep talking here
Hugs
KS
x
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Abertha

I think with confidence building small steps is the best way forward. Perhaps set yourself little daily targets like going to the local shops and asking for something in Norwegian, even if you know where it is, or if they have it. This way you will start getting acquainted with the locals, and they may start to recognise you, which will be a start on getting a small social circle.

If you find that you are very nervous, in that type of setting you can easily have an excuse to leave, like you have to put dinner on, get more things etc.

I am sure your boyfriend will not laugh at you of you try speaking it with him. Just start by asking him things like when you are doing the washing up, "what is Norwegian for washing up?" and repeat it several times, then build up from there. If you already have had long chats about your lack of confidence I really believe the last thing he would do is laugh at any attempts you make to build that confidence up.

Do you have any other English speaking people going to your lessons? They may be a good place to start for looking to building up confidence too, as I am sure they will be in the same boat as you.

Going to a strange place, with lots of people you don't know is likely to throw anyone even with the strongest confidence as you are in unfamiliar surroundings, and out of your safety zone. However after a while of being there and making some friends I am sure you become stronger and the unfamiliar surroundings will feel like home to you.
 
P

Prasada

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
119
Location
London, south Wales, Bristol, Oxford, East Anglia
Thanks, but that seems like a strange answer seeing as my problem is confidence and not learning ability.
I know. I was suggesting that the confidence and learning are intermixed because at some stage you have to kick the door out, get out there and do it, but I wanted to emphasise that conversational element of learning a second or third language.
 
dollylama

dollylama

Active member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
43
I kinda know what you're going through living in a country you're not accustomed to and one that you don't seem willing to adapt to. Have lived in a foreign country for 5 years and worst - I did this move on my own.

Get online, perhaps on Craigslist and find UK social groups - I'm sure there's a British community or two (or a whole lot) in Norway, of people who have moved to follow their other half.

Listen and share stories and experiences about what you've been going through and you should feel a whole lot more comfortable knowing that people from your country is also going through the same thing in Norway. I wish you all the best of luck!:)
 
L

leumagem

Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
21
How about looking for UK expats in Norway through the net? You could try facebook, I am sure there will be a group on there for Brits in Norway, and a simple google search reveals a few opportunities. If you can make some Brit friends out there thats a start. You want money? Sounds like you also need a hobby. Why not try a hobby that could make you some money... Like pottery http://www.pottersconnection.co.uk/ , or making glass sculptures or jewellery https://www.creativeglassguild.co.uk/index.htm or if you are not very creative why not try trading stocks or currencies? Thats what I am teaching myself to do. Its really hard but also very intresting and fun. You need some money to open a live account but I recommend you demo trade (with pretend money) first. I am a member of another forum called T2W (Trade to Win). http://www.trade2win.com/ You can PM me on here if you are interested and I will give you my username.

You need something to occupy your time other than cleaning your house! So if it was something that made you some money that would be great. Unless you like cleaning then maybe you could set up a cleaning business ;)

Anyway just a few suggestions, maybe it might help trigger some ideas for you. All the best!!!
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
Y Don’t know where to go from here with friend? People 1
fireandairo Why am i not sexually interested in my bf anymore? People 1

Similar threads

Top