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I can't afford to lose more people

F

Fifi91

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 23, 2013
Messages
92
Location
Australia
Every close friend I've had, has walked out of my life. It's always the same reason:
I'm...
- too selfish
- too emotional
- too insular
- always attacking myself
- bad company
- living in a bubble
I hear these same things so often that it has lost meaning. It still upsets me each time, to be put down in that way. I am in therapy, I have three daily anti-anxiety/anti-depressants. I'm trying. It's so hard to wake up in the morning when what I hope for is for a quick, painless death. Am I really so horrid to have as a friend?

My ex-friends put me down and choose to walk out of my life because I'm too much of a burden.

Perhaps this means I have no choice but to realise that I am undeserving of friendship and I am to face the same lonely existence.
 
A

Alienated

Guest
Sounds like you meet the as ass-holes I do .

I wonder, just how well is their lives.. I bet if you knew the truth, they are more of a mess than you think you are.

We live in a world where you just descibed 70% of my countries people.. And those are the ones that aren't locked up.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Most definitely everyone deserves friendship.

You're doing what you can to help yourself with therapy and medication, which is great, so maybe you could concentrate on getting yourself well and worry about the friends thing afterwards.

It would, theoretically, give your mind a break from the worry of having no friends and gives you something to aim towards.

When you reach a stage where you feel your mental health has improved, then you can start finding ways to make new friends.

It's only a suggestion. I hope you're feeling better about things soon.
 
G

greatfulmomoftwo

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 17, 2015
Messages
144
Location
USA
No my friend, you are not meant to live a lonely existence!!!! I struggle with the same issue. Take a look at what your friends are saying and talk to your therapist about how to go about changing those areas of your life. Have you ever been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder? If so please consider going to CBT or DBT groups where they teach us how to better manage interpersonal relationships. The characteristics that your friends are talking about are common in BPD but of course i am not a doctor. Until then, be the best person you can be and try not to take it personal rather take what they have to say and be honest with yourself and see if there is any truth in their words. If so, get some help. Let me know how you are doing and in the mean time i will be praying for you that God sends a friend into your life that can help you grow and feel good about yourself.
 
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