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valleygirl

valleygirl

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I am suicidal. I am on antidepressants. I have a counsllor who I see weekly. But no one can help me. No one can end the torment of my soul. No one can make my life better for me. Neither can I. I've tried. And tried. And tried. I am a failure. I can't do life anymore. I am getting closer to figuring out how to do it with minimal pain.
 
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Helena1

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How long have you had counseling for?
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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I've seen a lot of different counsellors over the years, but this one I've seen since July 2014.
 
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Patrick D

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Apr 10, 2015
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I hope you stay talking to us here, I'm very close to these very feelings, but today the smallest of things happened and it was a kind word spoken to me.. and I felt a little better, if one kind word can make a difference.. there is hope... talk to us..
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Oct 30, 2010
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Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
I know how hard it is and it can last so very long but life and things do change.
I am glad I did not give in to my hopeless feelings because life has taken a turn for the better slowly and surely for me for a good while now. If it can happen for me, it can happen for you.
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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I wish I had died when I was born. I was only 4 lbs and not breathing. If I had died then it would have saved me and so many other people a lot of problems.
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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I am starting to develop a plan. It's going to be awhile before I can pull it off. Going to wait for when my mum and dad leave town for awhile. I have to gather all my supplies.
 

MarlieeB

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I guess the title of the thread is a typo but look at it.

There was something in you that made that typo, the part that wants you to live. Sometimes when you are stuck in this spiral little things happen which show that deep down you do really want to live.

I'm glad that it's going to be awhile before you can do it, hopefully in that time you will overcome this chapter and feel slightly less like you need to leave the world.

x
 
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Helena1

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i thought the title meant i can kill myself?
 
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Gredge23

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I am suicidal. I am on antidepressants. I have a counsllor who I see weekly. But no one can help me. No one can end the torment of my soul. No one can make my life better for me. Neither can I. I've tried. And tried. And tried. I am a failure. I can't do life anymore. I am getting closer to figuring out how to do it with minimal pain.
I would change the wording of what you wrote , I am suicidal to "I am finding it hard at the moment" but no one can help me to "I'm finding it hard to get someone who connects with me" I am a failure to "I have tried a lot and am still finding it tough" I can't do life anymore to " I am finding it hard at the moment but am sitting with my pain"

Take a few moments to write down what you typed here and changed the statements to what I wrote or what you think would be better........ Sit down find your breath and relax and like a mantra say what I changed for you , just the fact the words are changed should make you feel different at the end , I'm no therapist but have down work with lots and lots of therapists and found this exercise most effective.
 
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braveone

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Jan 15, 2015
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Sorry to hear things are so bad for you at the moment. Ive felt the same, made plans too. Things were good for a while and now worse than ever, and im back making plans. Keep on here, seeing a reply can make a difference. I hope we both get through this. "Suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem"
The only way is to survive each day, thats not easy I know, I wish I had an answer too
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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Valley of dry bones
I just feel like my body needs some violent shock, because I deserve to be hurt, or there needs to be some physical manifestation of the roaring emotional pain I feel. I feel like I need to mark my psychic pain on my body. Like maybe violence against my body could be strong enough to push the emotional pain out of me, out of my mind and out of my body, like a strong wind blowing all the spores off a dandelion. Like it could somehow cleanse me.
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

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I just feel like my body needs some violent shock, because I deserve to be hurt, or there needs to be some physical manifestation of the roaring emotional pain I feel. I feel like I need to mark my psychic pain on my body. Like maybe violence against my body could be strong enough to push the emotional pain out of me, out of my mind and out of my body, like a strong wind blowing all the spores off a dandelion. Like it could somehow cleanse me.
Do you have hobbies valleygirl?

Do you have a creative outlet? Music, art, poetry? You have a fantastic way with words.
What kind of sports, if any do you enjoy?
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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Valley of dry bones
I do have hobbies, or I used to have hobbies, but I don't enjoy anything anymore. Nothing I used to like to do is pleasurable anymore, not even reading. I only have classes 2 days a week, and the days I don't have class I often spend in my pjs. Most days I can't get myself out of bed until 10 or 11. I already feel half dead.
 
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