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I can be the worst.

LittleMissNameless

LittleMissNameless

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
295
Location
canada
I am disgustingly jealous of parts of my little sisters life.
It's like looking at a parallel universe in what my life could've been. She went through so much of the same things as me but easier.

For example I've been sexually abused basically forever and I am ruined physically and emotionally. I suffer from attachment disorder, emotion dysregulation, trust issues, and flashbacks (etc)

Some creep took photos of her without her consent getting out of the shower when she was a minor (so like child porn kind of) And they got the freak and he was charged and convicted. My family w1as as supportive as possible and she talks about it and how it affected her and they all listen and respect her.
As they should!

However I mentioned being sexually abused (like just the molestations nothing too horrible I dont want to scar them) and I got told "could be been worse" so I'll never talk about it again.

I spend a bajillion dollars on my degree and training and I find it difficult to find a job in my field (not uncommon)

My sister gets offered a tuition free ride at a university (her uncle is a professor there) and she turned it down but then her dad (not my dad, shes a half sister) just gives her a job in his company pretty high up.

I understand life is not fair and her life is not my life but I get caught up in watching all these things happen for her and I work just as hard and I'm still struggling and alone and I am ashamed of feeling jealous of her I want her to succeed (shes my baby sister!)
When I try to talk about my feeling everyone just gets mad at me and says " her life isnt easy either" but I'm not saying it is I'm saying I am struggeling with obsessive thoughts of worthlessness and intrusive thoughts of jealousy. I feel like they aren't listening to me.
 
B

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
749
Location
England
I believe in some families, siblings are treated differently. It sounds like your sisters feelings are being validated and yours are not. It is hard on you and I can fully understand your feelings. I feel my sisters were always treated differently too. I am sorry this is happening to you.
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
483
I am disgustingly jealous of parts of my little sisters life.
It's like looking at a parallel universe in what my life could've been. She went through so much of the same things as me but easier.

For example I've been sexually abused basically forever and I am ruined physically and emotionally. I suffer from attachment disorder, emotion dysregulation, trust issues, and flashbacks (etc)

Some creep took photos of her without her consent getting out of the shower when she was a minor (so like child porn kind of) And they got the freak and he was charged and convicted. My family w1as as supportive as possible and she talks about it and how it affected her and they all listen and respect her.
As they should!

However I mentioned being sexually abused (like just the molestations nothing too horrible I dont want to scar them) and I got told "could be been worse" so I'll never talk about it again.

I spend a bajillion dollars on my degree and training and I find it difficult to find a job in my field (not uncommon)

My sister gets offered a tuition free ride at a university (her uncle is a professor there) and she turned it down but then her dad (not my dad, shes a half sister) just gives her a job in his company pretty high up.

I understand life is not fair and her life is not my life but I get caught up in watching all these things happen for her and I work just as hard and I'm still struggling and alone and I am ashamed of feeling jealous of her I want her to succeed (shes my baby sister!)
When I try to talk about my feeling everyone just gets mad at me and says " her life isnt easy either" but I'm not saying it is I'm saying I am struggeling with obsessive thoughts of worthlessness and intrusive thoughts of jealousy. I feel like they aren't listening to me.
i sometimes feel jealous of my brother.....he is quite successful in his field, whereas im unemployed over 20 yrs and still live with my parents at 44
 
LittleMissNameless

LittleMissNameless

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
295
Location
canada
My sister is also a big social justice warrior and I'm sick of getting lectured to by a girl who is the epitome of priviledge. Her bf and her bought a car and their advice to people is dont get a loan to buy a car, borrow money from your rich grandmother - cuz theres no interest.
Genius! Why hadn't I thought of that.
She has a rich grandma and I graduated highschool living on the street
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,165
Location
North Carolina
It's hard to watch people of privilege and know that you could accomplish things if given the same opportunities. We've all felt it at one time or another and it doesnt mean you dont care about her any less. You just have to try to not to dwell on it.

You should try gratitude exercises. Focus on things to be thankful for instead of what one doesnt have or wasnt given. It helps you see things in more positive way.
 
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