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I can’t cope. Constantly repeating phrases.

L

leelee123

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Joined
Aug 29, 2021
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1
Location
england
hello i am 19 years old and since i was 13 years old i have suffered madly with an uncontrollable urge too repeat something in my head all day every day without fail in fear that if i didn’t it would cause something bad too happen, as i’ve got older i’ve started repeating certain things that are uncontrollable fears, i sadly lost a baby too a misscarage and ever since then my repetitive words have been ‘never have a stillborn never have a misscarage never have an ectopic never have a chemical never have a molar never have an abortion never lose any of my babies in anyway shape or form’ and i repeat this in my head anytime between 50-300 times a day and i can’t stop it i also repeat shorter phrases in my mind but only about 50-100 times a day, it is uncontrollable and i can’t stop it!!! it makes me want too scream and cry cus my brain tells me if i don’t repeat it i am in danger of something happening and it is uncontrollable please help, i also have too walk up my stairs in a specific order if i walk up i miss the 1st step and make sure i touch the top with my left foot else i get scared, this i also cannot control if i get it wrong i stop and swap feet,i do it all day and it makes me lose it, sometimes i have too repeat it so quickly i shake uncontrollably until i finish saying it in my mind, i wasn’t able too tell anyone about this for 4 years so i suffer in silence as my mind told me i couldn’t tell anyone i am starting too try as my boyfriend struggles too know what’s wrong with me when i go silent (it’s cus i’m repeating things) so i told him i struggle with repeating things but that is obviously not what it is, please help me with what’s wrong with me, there is so much more with it but i can’t cope with anything anymore it takes over my life and i am unable too perform normal tasks cus i am too busy repeating things in my mind, i also sometimes lose my mind and end up getting uncontrollably angry and lashing out and i can’t stop it, i’ve been pinned down from screaming and crying from the repetitive sentences in my mind but never been able too tell anyone what causes it, am i severely obsessive compulsive disorderly, vibigeration, schizophrenic , have ADHD,bpd, autism or a mix of severe obsessive compulsive disorder with ADHD? the symptoms of my adhd are being unable too sit down, constantly lashing out, losing focus and lots of others please help!!!
 
Jolly

Jolly

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Dec 26, 2020
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1,799
Location
United Kingdom
Firstly the forum foes not diagnose. Have you spoke to a professional or a therapist to help you with this. The forum will be around shortly to support and advise. Take care
 
Bod

Bod

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Jul 19, 2021
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7,848
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Pretty Good
Welcome to the forum, I hope you can find peace here plus you do need to talk to your GP doctor as only that sort of person can diagnose you.
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,510
Location
Scotland
Hi. I hope that in the morning you read this and decide to seek help from your GP surgery as a starting point. Do you think you could manage to do that? I hope you can. Perhaps you could ask your boyfriend to support you to make the call. That will be the beginning of you trying to get better. I will check during the day to see what you are saying about it xx
 
Tawny

Tawny

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12,111
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England
:welcome:

Life will get easier but you need support. Your g p will know where to refer you to get help and make life better.
 
mischief

mischief

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Dec 9, 2007
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15,825
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The World
Hi @leelee123

Welcome to the forum :welcome:

It's great that you have reached out for support. Thanks for finding our forum. I was really struck by you saying:

i wasn’t able too tell anyone about this for 4 years so i suffer in silence as my mind told me i couldn’t tell anyone
Not being able to tell someone for so long really demonstrates the intensity of the emotions you have been living through for so long. It is so good that you are now sharing these experiences with your boyfriend and us here on the forum. Both are important steps to moving on from where you are at the moment. You've done the most difficult step, that of opening up about what you're experiencing. I look forward to hearing more about what has been going on.

Diagnosing mental health conditions is a complex task and requires many years of training and even then people here often find diagnoses get changed as your psychiatrist/psychologist get to know you better or another psychiatrist/psychologist becomes involved. Often it's not an exact science.

Generally, the first place to get support from is your GP as others have pointed out. When you speak to them I'd suggest you write down all your experiences, as you have done in your post above and any questions you have and give it to them. I suggest this because it is much easier getting them to read something and then letting them ask you questions than you having to remember everything you wanted to say.

Once you have visited your GP it is likely that get referred to a more specialist service. You can find some more details in this article on our forum website written by a friendly psychiatrist.


It's worth being aware that sometimes there are long waits to get assessed by mental services. It's worth asking your GP about the waiting times, and asking if there are alternatives services you can go to if you can travel or if there are online service options. I am aware of one online service that some people can access through the NHS in some circumstances (especially around ADHD) or alternatively if you are willing to pay you can go privately.


When you go through the process of seeking support you may be given a label for your condition. This may help explain some things to you, especially as you learn more about the condition.

Sometimes going through the process it feels like the system just wants to place a label on you. The process is about you and the support that you may need to make your life easier so don't be intimidated by it.

Some of the important questions to ask are why are you giving me that label? What makes you think that I have xxxxxx condition? what are the different alternatives for treating my condition? what support is available to help manage my condition? What ongoing support do you think would be useful for me?

I'd encourage you to search our forum to see if you can find similar experiences to your own.

Please keep sharing, as a forum there is a huge range of experiences amongst our membership.

Take care.
 
A

anishabux87

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
19
Location
Leicester
Hi Lee Lee
Everyone above is correct in regards to visiting gp and mental health professional but I can also tell you I have ocd and experience repetitive thoughts and uncontrollable thoughts etc. I've had ocd all my life so understand how scary and frustrating your own thoughts can be. Have you heard of intrusive thoughts?sounds like you are experiencing these and the constant need for u to repeat things in your head could be compulsions to reduce anxiety. Best advice is to visit gp and get referred to someone who specializes in mental health xx
 
h24

h24

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May 30, 2021
Messages
159
Location
istanbul
Hi, I understand your struggle. I had those since I was a kid but as i dig deeper, I found more than just intrusive thoughts. You need professionals to diagnose you, self diagnosis can only go so far. Diagnosis won't make you better, treatment will. If you can't afford therapy, I might suggest reading about mindfullness, meditations and even CBT. Those are really helpful in managing symptoms and getting familiar with your thinking patterns.
 
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