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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

I broke down on the street.

J

juliaw

Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
17
I don't know what happened. I've been feeling depressed and anxious for a month now and I am increasingly sleepy and stressed at the same time. I have panic attacks all the time, and sometimes they escalate to something, I don't know what.
A couple of days ago I went with my friends to have a pre-christmas dinner, I was in a very low state and I didn't know what to do with myself. I was supposed to sleep over at my friends house but I just suddenly needed to get out of there. I walked along the road towards my subway and I felt more and more hopeless, I wanted to just step out in front of a car. I've never been really suicidal, because I know that these episodes passes and that 80% of the year I'm fine.
I walked across the road and into the line of grass in the middle, and I just stod there I think. A girl came up to me and asked me if I was ok, after that it's hard to remember what happened. She took me back over the street to the sidewalk and I think I must have lost it, I remember voices and I could only repeat stop, stop, stop. An ambulance came and they carried me inside because I couldn't move. In my head it was quiet and my legs and arms felt heavy, but I could hear myself screaming and I have marks on my arms and legs from where they had to strap me down. They took blood tests, then they took me to a mental hostpital where I stayed in the corridor all night waiting for a doctor. I had calmed down by then and was only shaking. They wanted to keep me there a couple of days for an evaluation, but I convinced them that I was going to see a doctor in Sweden after Christmas, and they let me go.

My life is out of control. I would just like to know if anyone has experienced something similar, or know what might be wrong? I know I need to see a doctor but I can't right now, and I have such bad experience with hospitals that I'm terrified of going.
I need someone to tell me what might be wrong, no one ever tells me. They all look at me and whisper behind my back, they give me pills, they took me out of school, they tell me to work less and take it easy. My parents says I'm just sensitive, that I'm a roller-coaster. But fuck, if every sensitiv person would be carried away screaming to the mental hospital I might belive them.

And again, I know I need to see someone proffesional. But I also need to speek with faceless people like you who I'm not terrified of, and who have also been through shit.
Please tell me if you can relate to what happened to me, and/or if you know what might be wrong. I need to know before I drown, I have nowhere to go and no one to talk to.

Thanks.
sry for the poor english.
 
Last edited:

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
Hi :)

Of course we aren't Doctors so we can't diagnose or give any professional advice.

I'm sorry you feel you have no one to talk to. Hopefully by bumping this thread you can get some advice :)

Marliee x
 
P

Polar Bear

Guest
We couldn't possibly know what was wrong with you. It sounded like some kind of temporary stress induced psychosis but it could also just be that you needed some help from anyone at that moment in time. Lashing out because of strong emotions. You then regained your composure and strength.

There are diagnoses yes but they aren't always helpful. Sometimes we just fall to pieces and then get back up again. Sometimes we fall repeatedly.

Might be a good idea to get some counselling.

Kelly x
 
M

Mastiff mom

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 22, 2014
Messages
1,157
Location
Washington,DC
Dear Juliaw, I have experienced states very much like yours. Once i nearly ran onto a major highway at night. I felt nothing and I felt everything and I ended up collapsing as the semi trucks roared by just wishing I was dead. I have many experiences like yours and I hate the hospital but I have had to go in too many times to count.but what I most want to convey to you is that you matter and you're not alone. I do think seeing a doctor is essential and you have the right to know your diagnosis. Hang in there. Big hugs.
 
L

lovagemuffin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
640
anxiety id horrible isn't it I also get panicsin towns you were trying to get to your safe place and couldn't that's sounds difficult. :hug:
 
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