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I am struggling with work and if sacked I cannot stop thinking I will go psychotic on them

S

Ste

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I have been had two different diagnosis, the first was Persistant Delusional Disorder and the second was Paranoid Schizophrenia. Take your pick. I am a very hard worker but very quiet and I can say I have never found dealing with people easy at all. I cannot do small talk conversation. I can hardly do any conversation. I just talk when I need help or a question answered.
The people that work in the same area as me I would say in the main hate me. Not just dislike, not just uninterested but actively hate me. In the 2 years I have been there I have had to listened to most of them discuss me in most unpleasant ways. I have twice had words with the main culprit and both times got called in by the boss to give and explanation of my conduct.
I am never going to get anywhere in a popularity contest. I am not pretty. I am not social. When I am at work I just want to be left on my own and get on with the job. If anyone wants my help then I am happy to pass on my knowledge.
The problem I have now is that I have let the feelings get so ingrained into me that I am struggling to concentrate because all I am thinking is everyone hates me and wants me either out of a job or physically hurt. I think that everyone around me is conspiring to get me the sack including my boss.
Is this the mental illness as I will admit I do have excessive paranoia but I have that because of the real things that have happened to me not hallucinations. I have always struggled with work, I have always struggled with dealing with people, I have no friends and my relatives I only see at Christmas and I have to force myself to see them then. I feel they don't want me there as I am boring with no personality.
Ok, now getting to the main point of the topic from the title. If I get sacked I am seriously thinking of acting out my vengeance on them by taking as many of them out as I can. My anger is simmering and will be raging if I get sacked because I will feel they hate me so much they pushed me out. I will need revenge.
Help.
 
T

tenanxious

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Work on your positive thinking. You're allowing your negative energy and thoughts to simmer and build up. Tomorrow morning when you walk into work, smile at the first person you see. Wish your coworker a happy, genuine "Good morning!" Your positive energy will reap positive reactions from other people. Think good, and it will be good.
 
T

tourbus

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Apr 10, 2019
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I wanna help you Ste
Paranoia stems from (social) isolation.
Loneliness and lack of relationships (isolation) stem from distrust.

You need to "zoom out" of your work focus and focus on talking with others, building relationships try to enjoy the company of others.
this will reduce your stress and anger and take the pressure off the situation.

I think if you work on that, you will become a normie
 
T

tourbus

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also I wanna add that bullies (culprits) can really suck. I wish I knew how to deal with them, but I don't know either.
I just try ignoring them, but they seem to frame everybody against me isolating me.

A good way to deal with that would be to report bullies/culprits to your boss and work on a file on them. So you basically write in a special report on your phone/pc all their misconduct and inform your boss every now and then. Make sure they get in trouble for hurting you by snitching on them, not by physically attacking them lol.

let their authorities deal with them, you mind your own business :)
 
R

Rax

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A lot of times when people are paranoid about workplace chatter its tends to be true . tbh u need to remind yourself how important this job is to you . if it isn't and you can find another one do so . But if you know u need the job u must stay focus and try to do your best. Things don't last in life . you won't be there forever And you will want a good recommendation. Therefore ignore those persons. Be nice all times unless you ate being disrespected (call a supervisor). Do not t ruin your reputation over one job. When I'm unsatisfied with a job usually do to the people I leave , if not I stick it out and fake it. As soon as you leave work find something fun to do to take your mind off of things .
 
mischief

mischief

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Ok, now getting to the main point of the topic from the title. If I get sacked I am seriously thinking of acting out my vengeance on them by taking as many of them out as I can. My anger is simmering and will be raging if I get sacked because I will feel they hate me so much they pushed me out. I will need revenge.
Help.
Why not show them what you're made of by tackling legally the harassment and discrimination you have been facing. You could ask a lawyer from a firm such as Bindmans to represent you. Discrimination and Equality

I'd much prefer to show people what I'm made of by doing something like that, rather than doing something violent. You've got real power legally in the situation you're in. You should use it with all your might.
 
mischief

mischief

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also I wanna add that bullies (culprits) can really suck. I wish I knew how to deal with them, but I don't know either.
I just try ignoring them, but they seem to frame everybody against me isolating me.

A good way to deal with that would be to report bullies/culprits to your boss and work on a file on them. So you basically write in a special report on your phone/pc all their misconduct and inform your boss every now and then. Make sure they get in trouble for hurting you by snitching on them, not by physically attacking them lol.

let their authorities deal with them, you mind your own business :)
Keeping a record of what is happening is extremely good advice. If you share it with your boss make sure you also keep a copy. Getting legal advice at an early stage is really useful as then you know what is the best approach to take.
 
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Ste

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Hello. Thanks for giving input to my issues.

Just to update and end this thread. I took advice from a sort of careers advisor and she said it's best to just get out. So I applied for jobs at other companies and now have a confirmed written offer to start elsewhere that I've accepted. Unfortunately the main boss (not my local boss) at where I work now has stated he wants me to work the full 4 weeks notice period as per my contract.

I have just finished the 3rd day of my 1st week of the 4 week notice period and how unpleasant it is to work with these people because since I handed my resignation in last Friday they have been gloating at how they pushed me out and how happy they are to know I am going.

I too am happy to know I am going. I can see me taking a few 'sick' days to get through the rest of my notice period.

Just to clarify that it is only those few that hang together and work in the same area as me that are the problem. The rest of the workers in other areas I have had no problem with. There are about 5 or 6 that I see on a regular basis as part of my job and I am quite happy interacting with them regarding work. They have no issues with me. Two of them have come to me privately this week to say they are sorry to see me leave (and this isn't out of pity because I never told them what was going on with my so called colleagues).

Thought I'd finish there on some happy thoughts. I can't be all bad if at least 2 people have the decency and humanity to come and say they are sorry to see me leave. Also I am really looking forward to the new job as I am excited about the work they do and very happy with their employee ethos.

I have taken note of the advice people posted on this thread and will keep it so if god forbid it ever happens again I can tackle it head on proactively. Thanks everyone.
 
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