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I am so fucking stupid!!! (trigger warning: mention of ending one's life)

M

MoonShade

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 5, 2013
Messages
170
I thought I was getting better...but I am not. I am just so ready to give up. I know how to do all the right things, but I cannot make the fear of abandonment stop and it is destroying my life.

I lost someone who meant a lot to me today. I lost the friendship because I am not doing well and they are not doing well either and it's too much for both of us.

I lost everyone. I was first abandoned at a young age and since then it just keeps happening over and over again to the point of making me sick.

I know it's because I get clingy and paranoid and lash out when I don't feel loved...but I don't know how to make it stop, even after thousands of dollars and years of therapy.

Fuck this. I wish I was never born...

I am so angry.

I am trying hypnotherapy this week and that better fucking work because otherwise, I am just going to end my life.
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,780
Location
Canada
I lost everyone.
now you have lots of room for new people to enter your life

"We make clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that makes it useful" -Lao Tzu
 
AppleJacks88

AppleJacks88

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 4, 2021
Messages
91
Location
Arkansas
I get it. I'm very isolated, and don't want to leave my home right now, and haven't for a long time. I have no joy anymore.
 
L

Ladyfair

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 12, 2020
Messages
2,017
Location
USA
Please don't do it I know your frustrated right now. You don't know how things can change for you. I'm sorry about your friend.☀☀
 

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