I am so down & stressed.

tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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It's been getting worse for the last month.

I never cry, but there have been tears today.

I am so frustrated. I cannot get myself to DO anything and I have a very messy house to have all cleaned up in 15 days when my daughter arrives.

I can barely get dressed. and if I don't do laundry today, there will be no clean clothes.

It's gotten to where I just want to stay in bed.

sigh.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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hi xx im sorry you are strugging xx just sending you love hugs and my very best wishes i hope things improve for you soon xx could you try tidying one room a day? would that be manageable? xx
 
V

volnash

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Try to clean a little at a time, and just be happy if you've cleaned a little bit more then the last 10 minutes, then try to clean a little bit more when you're ready again, do it in intervals and just dont make more of a mess then you clean up, this works for me:)

Sorry you've been crying today, hope you feel better.
 
V

Verity

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Hi tiltawhirl,

While you are feeling so depleted, try to get plenty of rest, eat well and do a little exercise each day to regain balance.

Before bed each night, try making a to do list for the next day to avoid fretting / losing sleep through worrying.

Make a list of just 5 things to do each day around the house, Then when you finish, have a list of 5 things to do for yourself: light a candle and wind down, have a face pack, listen to some music, soak in your bath, cuddle with a pet or paint your nails. Whatever brings you happiness!

You'd be surprised how many chores you can get done when there are treats waiting once you are finished ;)

I hope that you are feeling much better soon :hug:

Verity X
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Thanks!

Honestly I am too low to work those tricks on myself.

But the crying is seriously scaring me. It is so out of my m.o. and character.

It is the crying that is prompting me to get up at intervals and pick up just a few things at a time. When I feel like I might cry again, I get up and do a little.

This makes some sense because it is the mess and stress that has me bad off enough to cry. So I think I am fighting off the source and I must or I feel I will end up in the hospital and staying out is a number one goal of mine.

Since I am feeling so wobbly, I will check in regularly as all of you are the best.
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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Tilta, I am so sorry you are struggling so much. It sounds like you are feeling really depressed. I totally identify with the messy house. I never can keep on top of it all, and I know how stressful it is when you have a deadline to clean up for. Sending you lots of hugs.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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I knew you would "get it" Prairie Chick. It's something we share in common.

And our strict raising and standards about women and keeping up the household just piles on guilt.

Not that I don't appreciate all other support. It's all good.

I've just known Prairie Chick awhile and she would know I have never talked about crying before.
 
prairiechick

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Maybe a good cry every now and then isn't a bad thing, although I know it's not fun. But it can be a release sometimes. You must be feeling totally overwhelmed right now.

I've known you for 4 years. Crazy, eh? Where has the time gone?
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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I think I can remember you going thro this 3 times. Once for an inspection, another parent's were visiting and then the move.

I have decided to launder what we will need, bag up the rest...I have tons of laundry where I have never sorted out outgrown clothes, put them in heavy bags and hide them in the storage building. Hide more shit under the bed, in the closet...whatever I can get away with and just try to be surface presentable and that will be plenty work.
She won't be here long, she is coming to pick us up to take us to her home for Thanksgiving. I have anxieties about that too. We had been estranged for several years. Now she took some holistic class about health and decided to try to be my friend again. I have been waiting for her to freaking grow up.
David & I are both anxious about staying at her home for a week and 1/2.
Of course what I want more than anything is for it to be a lovely reunion and she wants that too.
But we will all have to tiptoe around some things. and I do not have a lot of energy and they have a super busy lifestyle.

I have missed you!

I have got a situation going on with my sister. She pulled something really shady (and in my view, completely cold hearted, a betrayal and immoral on her partner of 23 1/2 years) and then involved me by first swearing me to secrecy before telling me. Situation is still ongoing for nearly 2 yrs now, I think. I expressed my disapproval and she has quit talking to me or anything. but we weren't so close because I have known for years not to trust her. But seeing her still playing out the golden child with my parents nearly makes me ill, they of course know nothing.
At least my daughter has enough moral compass that she is beginning to see in part what sis is like.
David sees it pretty much the same as I do and has lost all respect for her...I couldn't handle it if my mate and I did not agree on such basic morals.

said more than I intended...but there it is.

(((hugs)))
T
 
M

Mastiff mom

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Dear Tiltawheel, sounds like you are dealing with stress on many levels. I'm sorry it's causing you to feel so overwhelmed. I become very perfectionistic when I have guests coming. I feel like my house has to be spotless. These past few years I've had housekeeping help and it takes a lot of stress off of me. I wish I could send her over to you! I'm glad you have the support of your husband during your family visit. Sounds like that's major source of stress for you,too. I dread visiting my family. So much tension and dysfunction. I don't know where your relatives live but perhaps you and your husband could plan little get always while there-- even just going out for a walk for a breather. Funny, I never think of these things for myself! I'm thinking of you-- sending you hugs.
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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Hey Tilta, yes, deception, betrayal, secrecy, very hard things to deal with. I can see why you are worried about spending time with your sister. I hope it will go well.

As for being messy, I am always messy until some outside force motivates my to clean up.
 
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