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I am ready to die

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sallimae76

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Jun 18, 2019
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677
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USA
I am satisfied with what I tried to accomplish. There is nothing that interests me. No one who loves me. No one I love. Think it's time to go. Why not go out on your own terms.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi Sallimae76,
I'm so sorry you are struggling, please seek help.
Life can and often does improve.



If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
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bpd2020

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I am really sorry you are hurting so badly. I understand how alone you feel. Do you remember how you managed to make a friendship with a doctor? That was huge progress for you. There will be other lovely people to meet too. Please reach out and let your doctor know what you are feeling. Do not deal with this alone.
 
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sallimae76

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Jun 18, 2019
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677
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USA
I went to dinner with my doctor friend last night. I told her a little bit of how I feel. Some people are better of dead. I am one of them. I hate this have and have not world. Sick of being in debt. Sick of being ugly. Sick of work. Sick of the alienation from mankind. Sick of the heartache. Sick of the bordeom.
 
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bpd2020

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I think you were really brave to open up to your friend. From what I have read of your posts, you do not trust easily. I am just so sad you think you are better off dead. I know debt is very hard to deal with. I was in a lot of debt at one time and declared bankrupt.
 
Talina

Talina

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You still have a chance to meet people new people and create new relationship. You deserve to live. So don’t hurt yourself, try to reach out for help and not deal with the pain alone.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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I went to dinner with my doctor friend last night. I told her a little bit of how I feel. Some people are better of dead. I am one of them. I hate this have and have not world. Sick of being in debt. Sick of being ugly. Sick of work. Sick of the alienation from mankind. Sick of the heartache. Sick of the bordeom.
Hi,
Many of us have been in debt, so do understand.
 
K

karl7

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Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
925
I am satisfied with what I tried to accomplish. There is nothing that interests me. No one who loves me. No one I love. Think it's time to go. Why not go out on your own terms.
sallimae you need to get yourself admitted to a psych hospital for some TLC ......we care about you here, suicide is not the answer.....it destroys those left behind.....anyway get yourself admitted......we care, and these feelings youre having are transient.....the depression will pass.....i had very bad depression over the years and i would have appreciated someone to tell me these feelings will pass......there is hope......we are looking out for you
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Forum Guide
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Nov 10, 2019
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6,384
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England
How are you now?

So much sadness on the forum tonight, it is heartbreaking. It brings back bad memories for me, when i felt like you do and i am petrified of feeling like that again.

I went to Citizens Advice and sorted out my debt, i now have no debt. I don't even have a credit card. I got rid of all of the stress in my life and stressful people. I take my medication.

We need to get rid of the stress and focus on ourselves, peace, stability, sleep and good food. You have to start from scratch and build up a life gradually again.

One day at a time. Tomorrow you will i hope feel more able to cope. Please don't end your precious life, you have to wait until it is your time and it is not for you to decide when that is. We are all connecting with you now, real people writing to you right now so please let us know you are ok.
 
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sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
677
Location
USA
All I ever wanted was a house in a good neighborhood. I am 44 and still don't have that. My childhood bully was a mean girl, but because she was pretty, always had boyfriends who could buy her things, including a big beautiful house. I got good grades and went to good schools, and I still have nothing. I am a virgin at 44. I have never had a boyfriend. I hate this fucking world.
 
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sallimae76

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Jun 18, 2019
Messages
677
Location
USA
And I still hear a voice that says, "ape" all of the time.
 
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bpd2020

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It is very traumatic to be bullied. I can understand you are feeling very alone. It is unfortunate you have not met somebody you feel a connection with.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
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Canada
Sorry to hear you're feeling bad, sallimae. Many of us have been there for one reason or another. A few years back I wished to die too, and would even be upset I kept waking up to another day of a lousy life. I was ill then, and the days were not pleasant for me. I'm doing better now and am glad to be alive even though my life is not really what I hoped for. Just know that things can improve even a little, even when it seems like they can't.
 
J

JimW

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Nov 23, 2020
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1
Location
Florida
All I ever wanted was a house in a good neighborhood. I am 44 and still don't have that. My childhood bully was a mean girl, but because she was pretty, always had boyfriends who could buy her things, including a big beautiful house. I got good grades and went to good schools, and I still have nothing. I am a virgin at 44. I have never had a boyfriend. I hate this fucking world.
sallimae - this is my first post here. Thought I'd respond.

I am a 63 year old man who has been alone since I was in my early 20's. I had couple of girlfriends back then, but after college I was never able to find a good job with a promising future and as such, I was never able to meet a life partner. So I have spent the past 40 years lonely and alone.

Most of that time I managed to ignore it and go about my life, but recently, I've been feeling an emptiness and sick, gnawing loneliness in the pit of my gut.

Looking back, I see how virtually everything I have done over the past four decades with a few exceptions, has been alone. When I've travelled, I've travelled alone. When I went to the movies, I went alone. When I used to go out drinking in bars and clubs, I was always alone. Even going for walks always was and still is done alone.

I have a few online friends but even those have become fewer and it's longer in between communications. One of them died a year ago this past October.

Lately I've been feeling like I don't care if I die earlier than I had hoped to because I also have nobody to stay alive for. I am completely alone in the world. But I will not commit suicide. I'd rather stand up to this shit world and stay alive in spite of it.

I keep thinking maybe I can find a group of people my age to associate with. But there really aren't many opportunities like that out there. Next year, after I have some medical things taken care of, I might join a local chapter of a national public service organization.

Maybe you could find something like that. Bring some meaning and purpose to your life.

One thing that has always helped me, is the knowledge that there are so very many people who have it worse than I do. People who never had parents or a family. People who live on the streets. People who live in third world countries where just eating once a day is a big deal.

Whatever you do, don't end your life.

There are plenty of people in the same boat we are.

You never know what could be out there right around the corner if you just hang tough.
 
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Wanttofeelpeace5

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Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
829
Location
New zealand
you are better than most .. when i want to vent you let me vent .. you have so much to offer and your PMs mean a lot to me . you have so much to give .. please pm my friend and we will talk xx
 

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