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I am in another episode!

P

purple_elephants

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Apr 26, 2012
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158
Hello all.

Sigh, no offense, but I am not happy to be back here, and posting.

I had to call my psychiatrist today, and of couse, she is away. The nice dr. who called back immediately is putting me on a new drug, Tripterl, or something like that. I am in a new episode of my bp (yay, not), and he wants me to see my psych as soon as she returns next week to get me back on a mood stabilizer.

So, the fun stuff I am experiencing? Well, I would call them paranoid delusions. He agreed that I do have pretty good insight, even tho part of me believes them. I think that the government is watching me through electronic devices; be it cell phones, tv, internet, and even my alarm clock! I had to actually turn it around the other night because it freaked me out enough staring at me, lol.

If I am outside, they (who THEY are exactly, I am unsure) were watching me behind trees, in the woods, etc. Guess who hates being outside even more?! The mailman is in on it too, apparently. He brings the mail that somehow the government can see me with too.

My warped brain doesn't know why they would watch me, who they are, or what they want, but it does think that they are far too interested in me.

I never had the "government conspiracy" thoughts before, ever, but boy do I now!

Any ideas why my brain decided to go all "Beautiful mind" on me here?

The other ludicrious idea I have is that one of my pets is plotting their escape to cause my demise. I had this one before , but it is still odd.

Thanks for listening.

:eek:
 
calypso

calypso

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I can relate to all this, although I didn't get these particular delusions. Certainly they are serious and need help, but you are also quite well aware that they are strange and even take the mickey out of yourself a little. I would argue that you will be able to come out of this quite quickly as a result. Hang on to the sense you have that these are bizarre - that is your sane brain talking to you.

Try hard perhaps to use humour against this. I know that sounds odd, but humour can really break up these thoughts. They sound like intrusive thoughts and that can be helped. Best of luck honey. xx
 
P

purple_elephants

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Apr 26, 2012
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Thanks for the quick reply, Calypso.

I saw your most recent post, and have to ask, how are you?

I am familiar with that British phrase, but never found out the meaning. Care to enlighten me?

Thanks for the reassurance that this too shall pass, and hopefully quickly due to my awareness. I find it amusing at times, like now, when my sane, more rational part of my brain realizes how funny those thoughts are.

Yup, I just need to distract myself from thinking of them, and hope with meds, they will be gone soon.
 
rasselas.redux

rasselas.redux

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These paranoias do have a tendency to burn themselves out, given time. I don't personally subscribe to the medical model. I don't think I have a broken brain above and beyond the damage I sustained to it from psychiatric drugging.

Despite that I am able to live through these experiences. Everyone is different, and some people demand a quick fix. There are drugs that will shut you down emotionally if you can't manage your emotional reaction to paranoia.

It's not so much the paranoia that is the problem but your emotional reaction to it IMO.

Keep in mind that any resort to a quick fix may be beneficial in the short-term but worsening in the long-term, due to brain damage.
 
megirl

megirl

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Hey there,
You atm need someone who can reassure you that some of what you are experiencing are indeed paranoia.
You do sound like you have a lot of insight you know in your heart what is reality and what is not.
I do have bipolar 2 but I have indeed had those intrusive thoughts of paranoia at times.I jump to conclusions then it hits me like wtf.
Personally I think its awesome that you are here posting again.

I thought I would never be here again but once back its so nice to be part of a community who do understand what its like being diagnosed with a mental illness,
You take care and be proud of you . K
 
K

Katss

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It is hellish when it gets like that, can empathise, some mad russian with meth issues stole my identity and was causing all kinds of terrible trouble? Actually hurled the phone cos all the messages and contacts were doubling up and competing with each other, some model type cleaned it for me and now its back?

Wish could be more help, just think a lot of people go through it, and then come out the other side.

Poppyshakespre
 
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