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I am full of hate,,,why....

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bebe

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I am sat here full of hate and full of anger again,:low:
My anger is getting pretty bad I am snapping at people and there is really no reason for me to snap at them.
I look at my family and they annoy me I find myself hating them for something so stupid as to them just wearing a jumper I do not like, I understand my mind is poorly but it looks like another quest reading to tell my CPN next week.
I sometimes sit and wonder what it would be like to have a clear mind with no stupid silly thoughts I think that must be pure heaven:low:
 
mrlaurel

mrlaurel

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I am sat here full of hate and full of anger again,:low:
I sometimes sit and wonder what it would be like to have a clear mind with no stupid silly thoughts I think that must be pure heaven:low:
hey Bebe, total relate here, my anger is horrid and I get it for no reason, wierd thoughts popping in and out all the time.......


a clear mind? can't remember the last time it was free from heavy thoughts...


just try and relax if you can, easier said ay?



stan
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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I experience the same kind of hatred bebe. I don't know why either. Sometimes it seems so random. I would LOVE to have a clear mind. I want to start practicing some kind of meditation again, but spiritually I am really struggling, so it's hard to meditate and pray. I am wanting to look more into neuroplasticity, and after researching it I want to see if I can do some brain training exercises and meditations, but I don't really know enough about it yet.
 
J

JohnAdams2

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I am sat here full of hate and full of anger again,:low:
My anger is getting pretty bad I am snapping at people and there is really no reason for me to snap at them.
I look at my family and they annoy me I find myself hating them for something so stupid as to them just wearing a jumper I do not like, I understand my mind is poorly but it looks like another quest reading to tell my CPN next week.
I sometimes sit and wonder what it would be like to have a clear mind with no stupid silly thoughts I think that must be pure heaven:low:
Ok this is something I can relate to, I have had a problem with rage anger and violence for as long as I can rememeber. I went years fighting the world, running game, a lot of illeagle activity, the rage and violence kept me alive. I was very very depressed the whole time but, at least for me the hate and anger build up and it spouts off in a dangerous way. I realized my whole life revolved around my anger and pain, a sadist or a masochist depending on the day. I knew I needed to let out my anger in a different way or I was going to prison or the grave.

Hopefully your anger doesn't manifest it self in physical violence, because honestly, it is addicting. Drugs are nothing compared to a violence high, try to do something to let that anger out, anything from writing or a punching bag. I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I know someday you will live with a clear head!

The funny thing about rage and anger, depression is rage turned inward, there is not a person on the bipolar board with out rage.
 
B

bebe

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Ohhhh thats sounds interesting Spunky let me know how you go on with it
 
B

bebe

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Thank you for your reply Johnadam.
I read your post with interest as this is me, when I was younger I was quiet a violent person and being a girl it is not a good thing really I ended up being put into a anger management programme which did help and to this day I still remember little bits I learnt there but the anger is a little controlled now maybe because I am older but it never stops I hate feeling like this and I hate being nasty to people I care about.

Today I got pissed off because I have no motivation to do anything at all and this makes me feel lazy and useless ahhhhhhh it never ends Johnadam:low::panic:
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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I also was a very angry child and adolescent, and totally know what you mean about being a girl and not being allowed to be angry. I would stomp down the stairs, slam doors etc., and one time I felt so desperate because my sisters really knew how to push my buttons, noises that aggravated me etc., and I pulled out a big knife from the kitchen drawer. needless to say, I was in MAJOR trouble, because my mom saw the whole thing. But she never told my sisters to stop bugging me. It was always up to me to be the example because I was the oldest child. Looking back, there was probably a lot of anxiety in my rage, and there still is. It's when I feel powerless and disrespected that I go into horrible rages. But I eventually turned the anger in on myself, because it was better than getting in trouble all the time. Ironically, my mom also had those awful rages, and she was allowed to scream and yell and throw pots and pans all over the kitchen, but I was never allowed to be angry.
 
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JohnAdams2

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I also was a very angry child and adolescent, and totally know what you mean about being a girl and not being allowed to be angry. I would stomp down the stairs, slam doors etc., and one time I felt so desperate because my sisters really knew how to push my buttons, noises that aggravated me etc., and I pulled out a big knife from the kitchen drawer. needless to say, I was in MAJOR trouble, because my mom saw the whole thing. But she never told my sisters to stop bugging me. It was always up to me to be the example because I was the oldest child. Looking back, there was probably a lot of anxiety in my rage, and there still is. It's when I feel powerless and disrespected that I go into horrible rages. But I eventually turned the anger in on myself, because it was better than getting in trouble all the time. Ironically, my mom also had those awful rages, and she was allowed to scream and yell and throw pots and pans all over the kitchen, but I was never allowed to be angry.
There is a huge difference from ANGER and VIOLENCE. Spunky you sounded angry as an adolescent (aside from possibly the knife, you probably wouldn't have used it.) Violence, is when that anger is taken out on others. Then the really hard part is when you realize how much you love and rely on that anger. Then you realize that if god is real you are going to hell.
 
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bebe

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In order for me to get rid of my anger I do tend to punish myself by SH this is by no means any way to act but it is my way as I do feel the way I am towards people is disgusting and I need to be punish for it.
I am not proud of my anger in younger days but it haunts me and never ever will leave me
 
M

Macey

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I was also a very angry teenager.
I used to boil everything up and then just breakdown and harm my self, hate thinking about it.
Now i try to use other ways to deal with anger.
 
B

bebe

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I was also a very angry teenager.
I used to boil everything up and then just breakdown and harm my self, hate thinking about it.
Now i try to use other ways to deal with anger.
Wish I could find that other way to deal with anger
 
A

al5100

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Mar 4, 2016
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Hate for no reason you say? Believe it or not, i wish that were my problem. Oh how i would enjoy that blissful ignorance thoroughly.

i know exactly why i am filled with hate. Its all toward the so called people who have helped destroy my formerly beautiful life. The human swill i used to called 'friends'. Id call them swine but i respect pigs and their high level of intelligence to much to compare them in such a derogatory manner to these self centered assleakages. Yes my former 'FRIENDS'.

These darlingly delightful beings who contributed to the demise of my love for humanity.

I used to have so much love and trust. Filled with the joy of every new day dawning. All dead now. Now i hate the light.

Humanity should have stayed in the swamps. We did ourselves and especially this earth no favors.
 
megirl

megirl

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Hey there and hi not too sure what to say sounds like you have had a real shit of a time anyway keep posting this is a great place to be and you will get lots of support
 
J

jos18

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I can relate. I woke up this morning hating my wife so much. I dont think theres a good reason. I think its transferance. Which means she occurs to me as some one else I hate like my mum from when i was a kid. I was just laying there full of hate and then I tuned in to a spiritual lecture and it soothed my mind completely but I went back to hating for some dumb reason.
 
A

al5100

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Mar 4, 2016
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Thanks for the reply, I know why Im so damn angry, lifes been a total bitch to me. So im wondering, why are you so angry?

Andrew
 
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