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I am completely devastated/hopeless right now...

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Hiraeth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
49
Location
Wyoming
I have homebound agoraphobia and I have been unable to leave my house for a while now. This has been going on for about 3 years. I don't know what to do. I have a doctor that comes to the house but now he has decided that I need to find someone else out of the blue. He is going to give me a 3 month supply of medication but I need to find a psychiatrist who specializes in depression and anxiety. So basically, he gave up on me. It's not the first time this has happened to me but it is beyond frustrating/hurtful. He was telling me I needed to leave my house to get medication. I never had any issues with him before but he was being really condescending to me. When he was trying to push me to go to a doctor outside my home I started breaking down crying. I don't know what to do and I have had bad experiences with telehealth. I was still crying when he left and he did not ask me how I was. I also wrote an email asking him a bunch of questions and he completely ignored it. I also had to lose my therapist because she hasn't been there for me. I did sign up for betterhelp but who even knows if that will do anything. I have heard mixed reviews. Does anyone have any advice? I am REALLY stuck.
 
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AuraSunset

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2019
Messages
172
Location
UK
I feel for you, Hiraeth and I understand completely. I've been housebound for many years due to agoraphobia and my doctor plus the mental health service have both abandoned me. I wish I coud give you advice on how to get more help, but I'm still fighting to get any for myself, so I don't have the answer to that. I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone, though I'm sure it feels like you are sometimes, and that there are more of us out here who understand how you feel and what you're going though.
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,309
Location
North Carolina
Im very sorry. Just try to do searches for online providers i suppose. Its rough time right now. You can always talk things out here.
 
J

Johntron9999

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2018
Messages
315
Location
Calgary alberta
I have homebound agoraphobia and I have been unable to leave my house for a while now. This has been going on for about 3 years. I don't know what to do. I have a doctor that comes to the house but now he has decided that I need to find someone else out of the blue. He is going to give me a 3 month supply of medication but I need to find a psychiatrist who specializes in depression and anxiety. So basically, he gave up on me. It's not the first time this has happened to me but it is beyond frustrating/hurtful. He was telling me I needed to leave my house to get medication. I never had any issues with him before but he was being really condescending to me. When he was trying to push me to go to a doctor outside my home I started breaking down crying. I don't know what to do and I have had bad experiences with telehealth. I was still crying when he left and he did not ask me how I was. I also wrote an email asking him a bunch of questions and he completely ignored it. I also had to lose my therapist because she hasn't been there for me. I did sign up for betterhelp but who even knows if that will do anything. I have heard mixed reviews. Does anyone have any advice? I am REALLY stuck.
one thing to remember is that ALL doctors are different! some graduated at the bottom of there class im not saying they are stupid but not all doctors are good doctors. some doctors havent had or understand severe anxiety and depression and dont know what its truly like. some doctors just throw medication at people when they should ask more questions to see if that medication is truly right for them. the problem with mental health is you get asked a few questions and in only 2 minutes of talking to you they say here try this.... theres a whollllle other thing that doctors need to do and that is called brain scans... specifically "SPECT" scans. spect scans look at peoples brain and see if your brain activity is out of balance. if you have to much activity in certain areas of the brain than depending on the brain area taking a stimulant would be a bad idea like wellbutrin etc check out daniel aman and his video about 83000 brain scans just search it in youtube and you will be amazed it shows how to properly deal with mental illness! phychiatrists should ALL be scanning peoples brain to see where there is abnormal activity but they dont do that they just ask a few questions and say take this medication. there was a young kid who had severe mental issues because of a tumor that was growing in his brain. no matter how much medication you would throw at that kid you will not help him that tumor has to be removed. how would you know how to fix his mental issues if you didnt look at a scan of his brain?? exactly theres to much guess work in mental illness its rediculous
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,930
Location
London, ON
Has teh possibility that "pushing" you to go out is the plan itself? I'm not going into whether or not its fair, but, maybe he feels it is needed.

I understand that this is upsetting for many reasons, and I'm sorry your feeling like this. It's hard.

I'm not saying "just go out!". I'm saying maybe the doctors feel like letting you stay in your entire life isn't the right thing for them to do. And that is the reason your doctor did what he did.

In the meantime - you need to keep yourself calm and healthy. You don't need to figure this out today or tomorrow. Try to recover from today, first.
 
H

Hiraeth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
49
Location
Wyoming
I feel for you, Hiraeth and I understand completely. I've been housebound for many years due to agoraphobia and my doctor plus the mental health service have both abandoned me. I wish I coud give you advice on how to get more help, but I'm still fighting to get any for myself, so I don't have the answer to that. I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone, though I'm sure it feels like you are sometimes, and that there are more of us out here who understand how you feel and what you're going though.
I think he is afraid he is enabling me but he isn't. The only difference is I won't be on medication. I HAVE been working on myself. It just shows that he never really cared about me. There is only 1 person in the mental health field that has never abandoned me but they are unable to come to my house alone because they are male and they live 40 mins away from my home. Thank you for commenting. I am sorry you are going through this as well. It is beyond hurtful and stressful. I feel like the homebound mental health people get ignored for the most part. It might be more of a safety issue more than anything. I just don't even know what to do or how to get out of this mess.
 
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Hiraeth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
49
Location
Wyoming
Im very sorry. Just try to do searches for online providers i suppose. Its rough time right now. You can always talk things out here.
Thanks. Yeah I guess I will have to do online telehealth since I have no other choice.
 
H

Hiraeth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
49
Location
Wyoming
one thing to remember is that ALL doctors are different! some graduated at the bottom of there class im not saying they are stupid but not all doctors are good doctors. some doctors havent had or understand severe anxiety and depression and dont know what its truly like. some doctors just throw medication at people when they should ask more questions to see if that medication is truly right for them. the problem with mental health is you get asked a few questions and in only 2 minutes of talking to you they say here try this.... theres a whollllle other thing that doctors need to do and that is called brain scans... specifically "SPECT" scans. spect scans look at peoples brain and see if your brain activity is out of balance. if you have to much activity in certain areas of the brain than depending on the brain area taking a stimulant would be a bad idea like wellbutrin etc check out daniel aman and his video about 83000 brain scans just search it in youtube and you will be amazed it shows how to properly deal with mental illness! phychiatrists should ALL be scanning peoples brain to see where there is abnormal activity but they dont do that they just ask a few questions and say take this medication. there was a young kid who had severe mental issues because of a tumor that was growing in his brain. no matter how much medication you would throw at that kid you will not help him that tumor has to be removed. how would you know how to fix his mental issues if you didnt look at a scan of his brain?? exactly theres to much guess work in mental illness its rediculous
I actually have a hormonal disorder but I did not know for many years because my symptoms were not severe. Even with hormonal meds it will not help trauma pain. You're right there is so much we don't know and there are plenty of awful and good doctors out there.
 
H

Hiraeth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
49
Location
Wyoming
Has teh possibility that "pushing" you to go out is the plan itself? I'm not going into whether or not its fair, but, maybe he feels it is needed.

I understand that this is upsetting for many reasons, and I'm sorry your feeling like this. It's hard.

I'm not saying "just go out!". I'm saying maybe the doctors feel like letting you stay in your entire life isn't the right thing for them to do. And that is the reason your doctor did what he did.

In the meantime - you need to keep yourself calm and healthy. You don't need to figure this out today or tomorrow. Try to recover from today, first.
Well if that is what he was trying to do it had the opposite effect on me. It just makes me want to curl up in a ball and never leave my house. The pushing doesn't bother me as much as the coldness of just leaving me upset and being careless with me. I got the vibe he didn't give to rats about me and just wanted me to find someone else.
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,930
Location
London, ON
Well if that is what he was trying to do it had the opposite effect on me. It just makes me want to curl up in a ball and never leave my house. The pushing doesn't bother me as much as the coldness of just leaving me upset and being careless with me. I got the vibe he didn't give to rats about me and just wanted me to find someone else.
Tough love rarely works the way people think it does, if that's what he was doing. And, sometimes, people are cold when they are doing something they'd rather not do, like ending a relationship.

I'm just trying to find ways to possibly see his actions in a way that doesn't hurt you as much.
 
H

Hiraeth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
49
Location
Wyoming
Tough love rarely works the way people think it does, if that's what he was doing. And, sometimes, people are cold when they are doing something they'd rather not do, like ending a relationship.

I'm just trying to find ways to possibly see his actions in a way that doesn't hurt you as much.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,930
Location
London, ON
Thank you. I appreciate that.
You're welcome.

Are you feeling any better today about things? Still feeling overwhelmed?

How's your weather in Wyoming? It's above freezing here, finally. Glad Spring is close, winters here are bad for me depression.

I was thinking, it might help you to write a list of expectations you would have for a doctor or therapist, what you need from them and hope to achieve working with them. Then, try to look at the list as an outside observer, see what might be an excessive or implausible requirement on your part.

It might also be useful to write out how your issues affect you, and what improvement you've seen working with your supports.

These might not be immediately helpful to your mood, but could help you rebuild a more effective and robust support network in the future.

And it never hurts to examine ourselves impartially, to picture ourselves from the outside, to avoid making assumptions about ourselves we don't even realize we are doing.
 
H

Hiraeth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
49
Location
Wyoming
You're welcome.

Are you feeling any better today about things? Still feeling overwhelmed?

How's your weather in Wyoming? It's above freezing here, finally. Glad Spring is close, winters here are bad for me depression.

I was thinking, it might help you to write a list of expectations you would have for a doctor or therapist, what you need from them and hope to achieve working with them. Then, try to look at the list as an outside observer, see what might be an excessive or implausible requirement on your part.

It might also be useful to write out how your issues affect you, and what improvement you've seen working with your supports.

These might not be immediately helpful to your mood, but could help you rebuild a more effective and robust support network in the future.

And it never hurts to examine ourselves impartially, to picture ourselves from the outside, to avoid making assumptions about ourselves we don't even realize we are doing.
I am doing awful but it is because of another reason. It has not been a good week for me. We are having a blizzard here. that would be a good idea to try. I have never done that before. Yeah my current support system is fallen apart for the most part. thank you for the advice.
 
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