I am burdened and about to lose my mind...

frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
64
Location
South Korea
#1
My mother has dealt with persecutory delusions for a decade. She is getting worse, and the meds don't help. She goes to a finest hospital in Korea, and this doesn't help. She had gotten so angry that she started to scream. Yesterday, a crazed neighbor started to attack her due to this. I couldn't stop this fucker, because I was away for some reason... which I regret. Thankfully, she is all right. But this costed my relationships with other people. I complained at so many people due to this problem, and they are fed up of me. And I wish to end this anguish by running away.

Sometimes, if my parents abandoned me, I wouldn't have to deal with this problem. I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and I have to stay with them to survive. Back in US, I couldn't afford expenses because I'm too mentally disabled to get a job. So I had to go to South Korea for affordable healthcare and find a place to stay. And yeah, the rent is too high. Look at this video:

I had to stay and take care of my deluded mother to survive. It sucks with no one to help us in a foreign country. Mental health services are bad in Korea.

And I don't want to live anymore. But one of the things that keeps me from suicide is that there are dreams I want to accomplish.

It's not big or grandiose. I just want to live alone in peace, with no one to bother me. But people around me said that there will be assholes all up over me. Always a hater dictating my life. Especially in South Korea, where 80% of people get chewed out by their bosses.(My college professor said that)

And I don't want a real wife. Since people around me were all hot-tempered people, I get scared and fed up. Lots of people and websites said that getting a soul mate, a person who is right for me, is utter bullshit. Everyone is a jerk and will hurt you in the end. And some said that having friends and soulmates will make your life more miserable. I just hate this crap.

So, I admire this guy.

Marrying a virtual character. I don't like marrying anime characters, but I would love to marry my Warcraft avatar. She is a mature, beautiful blood elf paladin who serves as a hero of Azeroth, a setting where Warcraft takes. I can dress up sexy, and go on to heroic quests.

I know she is not real (bunch of pixels), but I am fed of of this life, and I am losing my sanity. I have weird desires. Please help me, and don't be judgmental...
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
4,436
Location
Tigger and Willow's house
#2
I dont understand how you can marry a virtual character :confused:

I'm so sorry about your mum's persecutionary delusions and your own disagnosises :hug:
 

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