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I am a short-tempered person. (Advice Please)

frisas45

frisas45

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Mar 22, 2019
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Please read here: I am a short-tempered person. • Mental Health Forum

Feel free to give me advice here.

If you don't want to read my link, read here. I know these paragraphs sound stupid and unrealistic, I went through so many crap that my thoughts got distorted. Here I go:

I am an irritable, steaming hothead! But in real life, you never see me rage that much. It's because I hold them all in. I have to take crap from from all kinds of jackasses. From insults to being beaten up, I never respond and quick to apologize when I do, even this ain't my pissdamn fault. I tried to let go, but years of abuse is too much to let go. Something triggers these bitch-ass memories.
They haunt me for years, and rage wells up. I just yell, and beats the crap out of walls, and get into trouble. Why? It's because I'm a damn loser. A winner lashes back at a person and brutally responds back. I am gutless. Here's a excellent reason why?

In US, if you confront a jerk, that stupid jerk will ALWAYS threaten to call the police. These stupid cops always promptly comes and threatens us. Sometimes, they abuse us with guns. Hell, there are regular folks who will do even worse. They might beat me, and even have the potential to kill me. This is what some regions in US is like (I grew up in US). We Americans have to face these punks who will do dangerous shit to their victims EVERY DAY. Gun regulations are lax, crime is skyrocketing, police are corrupt, on and on. So I was taught not to confront assholes; just walk away. If you confront a rude person, chances of you being seriously harmed is 60%, so you have to watch your ass. They have guns, and are quick to call the cops who will do the abuse for them. So trying to chew out an asshole is not considered a smart thing to do. It JUST PLAIN ain't, homie! In America, around 33,000 gangs exist and 1.4 million are involved in them. Not to mention, the rate of crime is 366.7 violent crimes per 100,000 inhabitants. (Source: Google- number of gangs in united states - Google Search + total number of crimes committed in the united states - Google Search)

So yeah. People around me told me to NOT to confront. Otherwise it will be the death of me. So I just fume and let the insults consume me for eternity.

But as time pass by, I become more confrontational. Just got too fuckin' fed up. I feel like I'm going to turn into a tyrant.
Here is South Korea, even verbal abuse is worthy of prison time. (Yet corporate stinkers get away with any assault charges.) And I don't give a hoot. I'll say whatever shit I want to say to any abusive dirtbags (Don't worry- I won't be violent). I'm tired of too much disrespect and the extraneous amount of boot-licking to earn one. If a jerk doesn't want to respect me, he/she should LEAVE MY ASS ALONE. Otherwise, I'll chew that dipshit like a drill instructor. Period.


Now, somebody told me to take Risperidone. But my doctor recommends me to take Lonasen (I take Lonasen and Lithium for years), a rare pill that works similar to Risperidone. It helps me a lot, but I need to know how to cope with this problem cognitively.
 
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keith74

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but I need to know how to cope with this problem cognitively.
Have you tried DBT? There is a section called "Emotional Regulation" which may be helpful.

My wife took DBT for awhile. There were some people in the class that had similar issues as you described. They would get so upset at situations and get really emotionally dysregulated and DBT had some skills on how to cope in those situations.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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I imagine in South Korea (lived there for years), there is a lot of frustration due to the culture. There is little questioning of authority; when someone has any power status, like an employer, a teacher, a boss at work, a parent or uncle, or just someone a bit older than you, the expectation is that you are respectful and obedient and show deference to the higher status person. This expectation is there no matter what sort of person the higher status person is. So, even if someone is a total asshole, you still got to grin and bear it and if you are pissed off about how that asshole treats you, it's hard to do anything about it while you are lesser status. You get bullied this way and have no way to retaliate. Not directly, that is culturally taboo. Frustration builds from this system of "respect the status regardless of the character of the person who enjoys that status." And so, in the streets throughout South Korea, as I saw over some years, there's a lot of frustrated angry people who have less status than they'd like and no way to vent their frustrations. Maybe getting drunk with their co-workers and buddies helps.
 
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keith74

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A lot of Asia is like that. There is more expectation for you to conform and follow the rules. It has pros and cons like anything
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Have you tried DBT? There is a section called "Emotional Regulation" which may be helpful.

My wife took DBT for awhile. There were some people in the class that had similar issues as you described. They would get so upset at situations and get really emotionally dysregulated and DBT had some skills on how to cope in those situations.
I have a therapist next week. Will ask for DBT.
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
1,490
Location
South Korea
I imagine in South Korea (lived there for years), there is a lot of frustration due to the culture. There is little questioning of authority; when someone has any power status, like an employer, a teacher, a boss at work, a parent or uncle, or just someone a bit older than you, the expectation is that you are respectful and obedient and show deference to the higher status person. This expectation is there no matter what sort of person the higher status person is. So, even if someone is a total asshole, you still got to grin and bear it and if you are pissed off about how that asshole treats you, it's hard to do anything about it while you are lesser status. You get bullied this way and have no way to retaliate. Not directly, that is culturally taboo. Frustration builds from this system of "respect the status regardless of the character of the person who enjoys that status." And so, in the streets throughout South Korea, as I saw over some years, there's a lot of frustrated angry people who have less status than they'd like and no way to vent their frustrations. Maybe getting drunk with their co-workers and buddies helps.

You see, my problems is rooted more than Asian culture. It has also to do with the environment back in the States. I've seen people getting slammed by cops for their retaliatory behavior.
 
Joe57

Joe57

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I am an irritable, steaming hothead!


haha I give you credit for ability to look in the mirror.

you sound like a young person. Reminding me of me when I was young. I eventually figured out that you can’t fight the whole world. pick your spots to fight, don’t take physical abuse from anyone. Otherwise let most of the other stuff go, try not to take it personally. That was my takeaway.

channel your energies into improving yourself, and getting what you want

the best revenge is living well
 
F

Frankum35

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As my cocktail is being adjusted i find myself edgy and short on patience. I hope to resolve these things. I know when I am depressed i am moody and edgy
 
B

BlueWater

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Try having other things to think about. Healthy distractions. We can't change other people's behaviors but we can change how we respond (perhaps not respond and move on). Staying busy doing things but making time for inspirational books and videos help me. Write down your angry thoughts and let them go. Ditto to the suggestion for DBT and the best revenge is living well. Don't let the world bring you down. You move up to living at a higher level and expect those in your circle to meet you on a higher level.

I was short-tempered but my mood stabilizer and anxiety medication are helping.
 
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