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I am a little worried!

L

Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
Hi, I seem to be suffering with depression at the moment. Badly. My friend recently lost a friend and I was texting her to ask if she was okay and supporting her if needed. I wished her Happy New Year when I was a bit tipsy and might of embarressed her. Since then I wanted to say sorry and have been texting her but with not many replies. I was worried about her as a friend because I was worried she would take 'self harm', one step further. I even heard her crying one time while shutting the curtains in the flats, so I knocked on her door twice gently then once hard. Three times was enough so I left, then heard her crying again, so I texted her to see if she was okay and needed a shoulder to cry on.
Since then she has said I have been stalking her and is afraid of me, she has saved all the texts I sent and said that is enough proof. I was just being there as a friend and I have never followed her anywhere. I did make a joke saying 'I'm not stalking you, but your furniture does look good from that angle', it has been taken out of context and used against me. Please help, I am now suicidal and hate to think someone would think me that evil.
Thank you, sorry about the length of the thread. :cry:
 
S

saffron

Guest
Hello
sorry to hear you feel like this. unfortunately even the best intentions can backfire.
YOur neighbour obviously needs space and time to cry/mourn. But it not your fault she has taken your intentions the wrong way.
Best thing to do is not take this personally at all, it is nothing you did wrong and she did contribute by answering in the first place, but if she is paranoid or feeling low at all she ccould read your intentions as not being genuine. It is not your fault. Give her space and time and understand you have been genuine and tried to help and thats is all you can do, you cannot help someone who does not want help. when she is ready she will realise.
Meanwhile be proud of yourself for recognising her pain and at least trying.

I tried to help someone once and it never worked the way I thought it would at first I thought it was me but then realized that they just did not want help and was too ready to take advantage of my good nature. I am proud of my good nature it is a good quality to have.
In this day of age it is hard to get people to trust your good intentions as there are so many users and abusers out there.

Well done for trying and hope you can see the positive in what I have said about you and apply it to yourself.. :hug:

S
 
L

Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
Thank you for replying.

Hiya, thank you for your help. I wish I could be as optimistic as you, I am now thinking what if she try's to get me in serious trouble because of how she feels right now. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be accused of stalking someone, I would never do it. I am so worried right now, thinking of ending it all tomorow by jumping off a building. Can't think of anything else. My life may be over. Really don't know what to do?:unsure:

:cry:
 
S

saffron

Guest
Massive big hugs to you.
Please dont do anything like that, you are very valued and we have been helped by you, so that counts.
This person is going through her own trauma and by leaving her alone she cannot accuse you of anything. YOu know you did not stalk her dont you.
Yoiu can also make a contact diary and have it to hand if she goes further which is totally unlikely unless she is very malicious, it may just be away of being left alone. If she is that malicious you can confidently say you were just trying to be there for her and that she took it the wrong way.
You could talk to a local police liason officer and tell them what is going on and what she has accused you of and get the legal side of it. In my experience they wil not take it further but may come round and ask what went on just to get it into perspective, they certainly are not going to put you on death row or put you away and throw away the key are they.
Breath and think of it rationally if you can. you seem to be letting your mind runaway with you.
Thinking of you
S
 
S

saffron

Guest
Lionheart
You are worrying me now and I will stay up all night if needs be keeping you talking, But I do have to pop out for half hour to feed the horses.
Speak soon as I get back ok.
S
 
L

Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
Thank you Saffron.

No I would never stalk a friend, I just wanted to try to ease the pain she was going through by being there as a friend. But with everything I did I just dug a bigger hole for myself and everything was misunderstood. Now I feel I have let everyone down and just let myself down.

Thank you, Saffron.
 
S

saffron

Guest
you never let anyone down by trying to help, including yourself. but you are not the oracle and cannot see or help everything that comes your way, that what makes you valued and individual. You have done all you could and that is enough. you tried your best.
Right im off too feed the horses
speak soon
S
 
S

saffron

Guest
Hey Lionheart You Ok
Im back now if you want to chat.
S
 
L

Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
Yes i am a little better thank you.

I feel a bit better now Saffron, I am thinking a bit more positive. I still feel my friend would use anything against me right now with her condition. I just want to make things right now and move on but I guess things will get easier with time.

I really appreciate all your help, thank you Saffron. :)
 
S

saffron

Guest
No problem LH anytime.
She maybe lashing out and be confused, take it on the chin and be there for her in that way.
thinking of you
S
 
L

Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
Oh man things are getting worse!

I don't beleave it, I go in this chat room and my friend who I mentioned earlier sometimes goes in there. I found the room quite helpful even before we had problems, now I got booted from the room last night. The owner has specified I am not allowed in the room now.
I alway's go in now when my friend is not online and be invisible to her on Paltalk so not to further escalate the condition and the situation I have right now. Why would my friend continue to make life hard for me by getting me banned from a chat room to which I had friends and was respected, now I probably have no friends in that room and they probably all think me to be some kind of freak. All I have ever done is try to help my friend and now things have been twisted round and used against me. What do I do now?
Can anybody help?:unsure:
 
S

saffron

Guest
LionHeart
Please dont jump to conclusions of what the others may or may not be thinking of you. COntact the owner of the forum and ask why you have e ask not to go onto the room. As far as I am concerned they cannot be that biased towards one person or another and can only ask you to leave a room if you are becoming offensivve or abusive to someone.
If you can go on line whilst she is not on, just chat a way as normal and see what happens, you cannot predict that anyone will start anything against you. I think you may be looking into it far too irrationally becasue of the way this girl has made you feel. You are so worried about people thinking about you in the wrong way you could be looking like you expect it, therefore people may think you have actually done something wrong, which you have NOT.
You chat to these people any other time and do not include this girl so carry on now.
You have nothing to be guilty about if you have done nothing wrong. and it is their own mental illness if they judge without knowing the facts, and they dont because they have not asked you about anything that you are worried about have they.
BBe strong and do not let someone who has mental health issues focus their problem on you, it is their problem not yours, you are just a victim.
We will always be here for you ok
S
 
L

Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
Thank you

Thank you Saffron and u too Twylight, I really appreciate your help and patience with me. If you ever need support with anything I would be ever so glad to assist as you have helped me.

Thanks again, LH :)
 
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