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I’ve never talked to anyone about this before.

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CharlesI1007

New member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
1
Location
29 Palms
Hello,

My name is Charles, I am an active duty marine, I am married and have 2 kids. My daughter is 2 and my son is 3 months. Throughout my life I have struggled with anxiety especially in high school, I just chalked that up to being normal. Everyone is pretty self conscious at that point in there life. I am 21 now, and the anxiety has gotten worse and so has depression. I don’t understand why I feel this way, when many people would be thrilled to be where I am in life, but I am not. I’ve never been one to reach out for help, growing up, men did not need help especially not with mental health. Some days are better than others, but I always have these thoughts. Some are suicidal thoughts, some make me second guess everything I do. I do not know where these stem from, I feel like I put a disguise on every morning to hide my true self. As if I’m trying to hide the demons who reside in my mind. I’ve tested the waters with my wife about my mental issues, but she doesn’t understand. She thinks I’m just joking or that’s it’s stupid. Which leads me to bottle it up even more.
 
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EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
2,910
Location
USA
You’re 21 with two kids and you’re an active marine. I think it’d be weirder if you weren’t stressed out. I’m not saying to ignore it, I’m saying there’s a lot of pressure on you! Even if it’s good things. You should let yourself seek some MH support, anyone with that much on their plate would probably need it too.
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
1,615
Location
North Carolina
Go to your corpsman and tell him your having anxiety and depression and you want to set up an appointment with outpatient psych for an evaluation. I was a naval corpsman. We'll take care of you marine. Thank you for your service.

Id hold back on discussing your suicidal thoughts though because that could lead to an inpatient admission. I'd wait until you get a therapist and see them a few times.
 
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Almost always in love

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 19, 2020
Messages
76
Location
Scandinavia
Friend of mine suffered something similar to you.
He did not get help with his issues before he was in his 40ies.
It turned his life better once he did.

His only regret is that he did not ask for help sooner.
He wish, that he had known what he knows today, when he had been 25.
But better late than never we tell him and at least he did not end up in divorce or ended up drinking his stress and sorrows away.

What I want to say is.
It is always a good time to ask for help and let people know that you are struggling.

21 is an insanely young age to handle all the responsibility you have.
It would be to people in any age, but 21 is extremely young.

My friend has a wonderful life now. He finally feel like he can breathe again and do things he always wanted to do without feeling stress or guilt.

Its so so hard becoming a parent at a young age. People end up living life pushing everything and themselves aside.

Its painful.

Reach out. Get the help you need.
Its worth it. The rest of your life is worth it.
 
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yeah__datzgreat

New member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Lost Angels
People have the power of creating their own experience by their thoughts. The more attention those thoughts get the stronger they become and then it can manifest in an ugly physical form. Hence people are constantly creating wether they realize it or not. So be careful because sounds like you are creating something you way not want. Those thoughts you have had did probably serve a purpose when you were younger but now they have outgrown their usefulness and now only serve to make your ego feel good and feed off your good energy. Anyway, few people know that people can use this same energy to create positive physical change in their lives in lots of ways.

I don’t want to say I fully understand or get what you’re going through but it sounds like I get similar emotions and thoughts like these. So I have a few things to say since I’ve been researching the topic for a while....In a Freudian sense it could be an ego problem. Learning presence and acceptance of what is and what will be can help. Maybe you need to let your ego die. Sometimes it can be hard because people often hold on to negative thinking as a way of validation. It’s an addiction, way overlooked. and it alters your perception of the world and the very person. The more time a person gives these thoughts the more he looses touch with reality.

Everyday will be a fight but it’s a fight you’re going to have to win. It’ll make you that much stronger and wiser.

Realize you are not your thoughts! You are a being and you have thoughts. They are not real and they don’t tell you who you are. People identify with their thoughts and end up feeling like they don’t have a sense of self...learn to separate you’re awareness and your thoughts. Give your energy to the present moment, called the awareness. Thoughts feed your ego. You have to stop feeding it. Meditate.

Eckhart Tolle gave me a lot of this info. He uses a great example of a dog that gets lost chasing a scent he likes. The scent being the thoughts, leading your consciousness, the dog, away from the present moment, reality, true consciousness. Thoughts are just thoughts. Don’t give them your attention, your consciousness. You will create something you don’t want. It will also make you into something you don’t want.
 
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