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I’m struggling with boyfriends BPD

T

Targaryan987

New member
Joined
Sep 19, 2021
Messages
1
Location
England
My boyfriend is struggling really bad with his MH. My sister is diagnosed BPD so I’ve experienced the behaviours and symptoms that come along with it. I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over two years. His MH is deteriorating every single day. He meets every piece of diagnostic criteria for BPD. He’s been through a lot with SA when he was a child, neglect from his parents, he was a drug addict (cocaine, weed, pills, alcohol, Xanax, lean) for a few years before he met me. I’ve been trying for over a year to get him to get on the ball with getting help. I’m really struggling as because he has a strained relationship with his mum and family I’ve got the sole responsibility of his MH on my shoulders. He has episodes of psychosis, often threatens suicide (when he senses abandonment that isn’t there), his moods change constantly and are extremely intense. If he can’t find his socks that’s enough for him to begin to go into a rage. His lows are extremely low. It’s so difficult. He makes a little progress and I manage to get him to phone his doctors (who are now going to refer him to a psychiatrist) but then he has a mood swing or the day comes and he just avoids it. He’s been given the details for free counselling by his doctor, promised he was going to do it and just never did. I get quite scared of him when he has his mood swings and episodes. He can go from telling me he couldn’t live without me to hating me within a few minutes sometimes. I recently found out he’s been doing cocaine behind my back (probably why he’s been getting worse!). It’s getting the point now where I’m sacrificing my own MH (I have Anxiety, OCD and Autism) by constantly trying to guide and look after him. I’d be happy to do so if he was also getting professional help so he could manage his symptoms himself.

I know he hates feeling this way. I know he’s struggling but it’s so hard to watch him go through it with no professional support when he doesn’t have to. He can learn to manage this, but I keep telling him I’m not qualified to do that or to deal with it alone. How do I work with somebody with BPD so he can finally get some help? I don’t know how I should say things so that they get through to him. I’ve tried everything. What helped you go to the right places for help? Any positive stories I could tell him? I don’t want to leave him as then I feel selfish. He’s an amazing person but he’s so ill and I’ve exhausted all my recourses.
 
SoftRain

SoftRain

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
3,964
Location
sillyville, USA
You can not help those who do not want help. It has to come from inside of him.
Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you are going through this. hugs
 
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