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I’m so really to call it quits

K

KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Texas
Don’t know if I can keep this up. I’m just so sick of everything that that has happened. I harmed myself for over two years not realizing what I was doing. Had anxiety and panic attacks that I thought I was going to die. I still feel this way. My family has no idea how hard it is to be going through this. I’ve let myself down and them. I’ll never be over it. I can’t take care of myself anymore. I feel like giving up.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
12,525
Location
hiding behind the sofa
Are you getting any help at the moment like seeing a professional or are you on any medication. I also suffer panic and anxiety and SH but have found medication really helpful and am currently going thru therapy to try and find the cause aof the anxiety. I’m not sure how treatment works in the USA as I’m in the UK and i think you need insurance , but please try and get yourself some help. Do you have family or close fiends that you could talk to about your problems
 
K

KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Texas
I am on medication now. I stopped taken it a few years ago and my life spiraled out of control. I thought I was doing the right thing as there are so many people out there that say the medications are bad big pharm. I was ashamed and didn’t want anyone to know I was on medication. I couldn’t handle anything. I tried to get back on them but they made me so sick. My ocd, panic and anxiety went into over drive. I couldn’t think clearly. Wanted to end it and told my husband. My normal doctor was on vacation and I saw someone else in the office. I didn’t trust what she wanted to give me. I’ve torn myself apart since then. I couldn’t get over what I was doing to myself. No one would believe me. I stopped going out. Was in bed for months at a time. My body hurt. I couldn’t take care of myself but I would keep trying for my family. Holidays I would push myself to cook and clean. I have been so far gone. I couldn’t think right no memories of the past and no hope for the future. I was lost panic took over my like and I couldn’t take care of my own needs. It’s weird how your mind tries to rationalize what is going on. I have caused harm to my family by not being able to get help or leave my home. With other families input just made me feel worse. Friends I couldn’t talk to anyone about what was going on. I stopped talking to anyone. I don’t know how to move on when no one believes you. It’s hard for me to understand why no one would help me when I couldn’t function.
 
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