- Nov 24, 2020
Does it hurt you when people don’t notice your suffering? i Hide my depression very well from others, at least I try to. But at the same time, I think people SHOULD notice. You know? Like, while I’m desperately trying to hide the fact that I’m dying inside, I’m aware that my behaviors and actions aren’t my normal self. Shouldn’t people notice that? Especially when they know I’m diagnosed with bipolar and self harm? They know this, so, when I become more quiet than normal or edgy, wouldn’t you think they would notice that? It especially hurts when they constantly are saying they think other people are depressed. Like, what am I? A picture of sunshine? Another thing that gets me where it hurts is when they degrade people who are open about their depression. They’ll say things like “I always thought she was so strong”. What are they saying about me? And the topic of suicide! Don’t even get me started. they always, without fail will say, “what on earth can be sooo bad that would make somebody do that?” All the while knowing that I was in and out of psych wards for, what was that again? Oh yeah, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS! Are they doing this on purpose? To torment me? Then in the next breath, they’ll say how smart I am or how much they love me. I’m sick and tired of this roller coaster. I’m sick of living, and I’m tired of breathing.