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I’m scared about tonight.

LouisaMogs

LouisaMogs

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2019
Messages
58
Location
Warrington
My anxiety and depression have been really bad recently, the worst they have been in two years.

My partner, who is understandably worried is coming over tonight. I don’t want him too, but I’m also aware that I do need to see him so I’m not being completely selfish.

He’s a lovely person, but he has no idea how to help me, most of the time he makes me feel worse when I’m anxious and depressed.

I know I’m lucky to have someone who is worried and concerned, but I can’t deal with him.

He gets snappy because he tries things that don’t help me, but I can’t help it. I just catch him looking at me most of the time, which makes me paranoid and on edge.

He has said before that when this happens to me, it’s to much for him to handle, and we’ve broken up about it before. I made sure to tell him before we got together properly that I have serious mental health issues, as I think it’s unfair to not tell someone. If you don’t tell someone then you take way their choice to decide if they can handle it.

At the minute, I don’t think I want to be with him. He’s lovely, he’s not got a bad bone in his body, but I can’t deal with it. He just makes me feel worse. I feel like he’s judging me, and thinks I’m weak. I also think that these issues scare him, he doesn’t know what to do. When I’m like this I need someone to take charge of daily situations, which is something I can’t do because I can’t think straight and my emotions are everywhere.

He can’t do that though. He’s a very placid guy and need telling what to do in every situation. Sometimes I need sometimes I need someone to be the strong one.

I’m getting more and more concerned that I will never meet someone who can handle these issues and whom I can be content with.

I’m 32 and don’t want to carry on like this.
 
C

Chelle0416

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2019
Messages
16
Location
united states
Hello, I am a newbie but have you tried coupels counseling? I agree our (i have my issues believe me) issues can be a bit much especially for those who do not understand. Has he read up on how to properly try to help or how to respond to you in regards to your anxiety and depression? You said you think the issues scare him and he doesnt know what to do, have you all had a proper talk regarding the situation? I know you stated you made him aware, but how about an actual talk in regards to your illness and your relationship specifically? Perhaps the best will be to remain as friends at the moment and give yourselves some space if you ultimately think that is what is best. Feeling worse about yourself while with someone is not good for you or them, although you did mention that you do not want to be with him "at the moment". Not sure if that means at this specific point in time, or if you dont want a relationship of this type anywhere in the forseeable future. there is nothing wrong in recognizing this and following through if this is what is best for both your mental health and his.
 
G

GuitarAsTherapy

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Kansas City, MO
...I’m 32 and don’t want to carry on like this.
"Just snap out of it!"

I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard that one.

Typically people say that who are dealing with their own issues the wrong way. My wrong way was ALCOHOL. Doesn't work.

There is a difference between sadness and depression. One you "snap out of," the other requires therapy, and often, medication.

I'm proud of both. I love my therapist, and our relationship, and I love my "little pills." I see neither as weakness, but both as STRENGTH. My strength in meeting my problems HEAD-ON, and getting ON TOP!

They are still there--irrational thoughts, problems, fears. Always will be. But they NO LONGER define me, because I don't allow them to.

Nothing special about me--I'm just a guy. The difference is I went all-in on my therapy, and believed it would work, and it has. that, and I'm on the wagon. Or is it "off the wagon?" IDK. OK, I'm on the part of the wagon that doesn't involve booze.

And whether or not you are "normal" (whatever THAT means???) or you "have issues," you have to be with someone who understands YOU.

By the way, did you ever think that he's looking at you because he's attracted to you? After all, we're GUYS; we think about sex every 3.2 seconds, or something like that. :doh:
 
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